Luke Dunstan Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 (edited) I'm a sucker for bad jokes, they usually make me laugh more than good jokes... Anybody got some terrible jokes they'd not normally share? stick them in here! I'll start... What's pink and hard? A pig with a flick knife Edited August 7, 2012 by Luke Dunstan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalRobbo341 Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 Who can save 35+ times a day and still have a beard? A barber. -Rather terrible... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onza pro series guy Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 Who can save 35+ times a day and still have a beard? . A goalkeeper 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trialstrider24 Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 what do you call a chicken with no head? Dead Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Dunstan Posted August 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 What do you do if you come across a tiger in the Jungle? Wipe it off and apologise. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete.M Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 You need some bad joke eel: http://www.buzzfeed.com/fjelstud/the-bestworst-of-bad-joke-eel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClarkeHutchison Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 You are stuck in a room with a lion and Justin Bieber you have a gun and two bullets what do you do? Shoot Justin Bieber twice obviously. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomturd Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 What happened to the magic tractor? it turned into a field. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milford Cubicle Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 As a young boy, Joe was completely obsessed with tractors. He had pictures of tractors all over his bedroom walls; he had tractor toys,tractor T-shirts, a tractor carpet, and duvet cover, the whole works. He ate, drank and slept tractors. On his 17th birthday he was thrilled to get an invitation to go to a tractor factory nearby and test-drive a brand new tractor. His excitement was incredible as he told his family and friends. The great day came and he went to the factory for the test-drive. Unfortunately something went terribly wrong with the tractor when Joe was driving it and it flipped over, trapping and breaking Joe's leg and fracturing his skull. He was so upset and tried to sue the tractor company for negligence. But the company would have none of it and told him there was no liability and he could get lost! You can imagine he was rather p****d off with tractors after this and vowed to shed them from his life completely and forever. All the posters came down, the toys were given away - tractors were GONE. Many years later, Joe went into a bar for a drink. Inside, the cigarette and cigar smoke was terrible but through it he saw a beautiful girl seated at the bar on her own. Tears were streaming down her face. Joe asked her what was wrong and she said that the smoke was making her eyes sting and stream with tears. With that, Joe looked around and then took a huge breath, sucking in all the smoke. He then walked outside into the car park and blew all the smoke out again. He went back into the bar where the air was now clear and sweet and sits down next to the girl. "That was amazing!" she said, "How did you do that?" "No problem", said Joe "I'm an extractor fan" Terrible stuff right there... 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TROYston Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 Man and a giraffe walk into a bar,, they both get pissed, man goes to leave, the barman shouts "oi, You cant leave that lien there" Man says "No, its not a lion, its a giraffe!" 28 Days Later A deck of cards is like a women: You need a heart to love them A diamond to marry them A club to beat them A spade to bury them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BradJohnson Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdoku Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 (edited) What did the buffalo say to his son when he was off to school? Bison. Edited August 7, 2012 by weirdoku 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bikeperson45 Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 Yes, THIS is what I'm talking about! It's probably my all time favourite joke What job can I see myself doing? Mirror inspector. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
club_card Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 What do you call 100 talibans holding hands? Fireworks. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andeee Posted August 7, 2012 Report Share Posted August 7, 2012 What happened to the frog that broke down?..... He got toad away. OOSSSSSH!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdoku Posted August 8, 2012 Report Share Posted August 8, 2012 What do you call a tall black man? Negros. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simpson Posted August 8, 2012 Report Share Posted August 8, 2012 What do you call a man floating down a river with no arms or legs? Bob What do you call a man with no arms or legs lying on the floor? Matt What do you call a man with a car on his head? Jack What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Dug What do you call a man without a spade on his head? Dugless What do you call a man who can't stand? Neil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManxTrialSpaz Posted August 8, 2012 Report Share Posted August 8, 2012 What's brown and sticky? A stick! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Nichols Posted August 8, 2012 Report Share Posted August 8, 2012 I came on here to drop the magic tractor one but got beaten by Tom! What does the ocean say to the sand? Nothing, it just waves Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted August 8, 2012 Report Share Posted August 8, 2012 "Your Mum" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BradJohnson Posted August 8, 2012 Report Share Posted August 8, 2012 Why did the lobster blush? Cause the seaweed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam T Posted August 8, 2012 Report Share Posted August 8, 2012 Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bikeperson45 Posted August 8, 2012 Report Share Posted August 8, 2012 (edited) Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? Da brie went everywhere Edited August 8, 2012 by bikeperson45 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t-comp-kierz Posted August 8, 2012 Report Share Posted August 8, 2012 (edited) What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor Edited August 8, 2012 by t-comp-kierz 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan6061 Posted August 8, 2012 Report Share Posted August 8, 2012 discuss? thought it was the 200m ahem, bolts got it. Haaaaaa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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