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The Bad Jokes Thread


Luke Dunstan

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Venisons deer, isn't it?

That joke slightly irritates me when Jimmy Carr puts it across as (at least one of) the shortest joke. I can do the same joke in half the words:

Venison's dear.

Still very good though, and obviously not a dig at you!

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Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake.

The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand

how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were

the same size as kids. I just don't get it."

"Well," said the big Croc, "What have you been eating?"

"Politicians, same as you," replied the small Croc.

"Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?" "

Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol."

"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?"

"Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock

the car door.

Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat

'em!" "

Ah!" says the big Crocodile, "I think I see your problem. You're not

getting any real nourishment.See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a

Politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase."

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