MonsieurMonkey

Man, this shit is getting too much for me now. f**k her off so we can all move on.

This is what I'd text her. "Babe, listen, I love you. I want to marry you. I'll lick your arsehole out every night if that's what you want. You want to bang me with a dildo, let's do it. I don't care, just give me a chance. I promise you'll love me like I love you." If that fails, just f**king get some GHB, set up a Fritzl style sex dungeon. Tie that bitch up, f**k her, have kids with her and f**k them. Give them a bit of a sink and a fridge and you're set for life.

So are you gonna be at the same Uni? I'm assuming not? Long distance is lame, and paranoia doesn't help, depending what kind of student lifestyle you lead.

Have you been to Uni?

Don't say "tash'ed" on, it's f**king beyond stupid. The next season of Geordie Shore should be me asking the cast questions, the person who scores the lowest at the end of each episode gets curb stomped. In case of a tie both get curb stomped. There is no winner, the last episode is the final "contestant" getting champagne etc, then at the end as they're walking away I run them over with a car. If you didn't get it from there, just don't say it anyway, it's shit.

Sorry, I hope you don't think I was laughing at you. No-one is born knowing everything, I was laughing at the idea. It's like religion, and old idea to explain something people couldn't understand. Now we still don't understand fully, you just have to understand that chaos has thrown us all here, so we just have to make the most of the madness.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....... Now that I've got that out. Shit ain't real, shit can't be real. Don't believe in it for a second. This will end up being a stomping ground for me insulting idiots who believe in this bull shit.

I CALLED IT!!! Anyway, you should just say "Sorry, I just felt a bit hurt, I didn't mean for it to come across like that." Then you can carry on trying to get some casual sex in a few days. Listen to me, I speak only words of wisdom. Play those bitches, play them all day.

Ugh man that f**king blows. I hate birds and films, they either ruin it like that, or they ask questions throughout. Like asking questions you don't even know, I was watching a film me and my bird had never watched, some guy comes into the story, and she's like "Who's that?" How the f**k do I know?

You said she was fit, you can possibly get some fit gash, she seems interested in some way but says she doesn't want to get close. She's telling you what to say. Just ask her, then tell us what she says, it'll either be funny as f**k for us, or you'll get gnawing on some bacon shag pile for the next few weeks.

Your next reply HAS TO BE - "Let's just get physically close, f**k emotional closeness. My penis agrees."

Was that a 360 backflip? Insane if it was, has he ever landed one before? Lame he broke his leg though. Sheckler coming 2nd in the street skate competition was pretty crazy. Little bitch wins everything normally.

I know what you mean, but it could be something she doesn't tell many people. For example an ex could have battered her or something. If you can't be arsed don't be arsed. She could be eating her tea or anything, maybe that's why she hasn't replied? Or maybe some other dude is sticking it to her.

You can't watch some films too frequently. Gotta spread that shizzle out. Like the LOTR trilogy, you can only watch all 3 like once every 3-4 years. It's a killer.

Don't worry about it man. See what she says, there's probably something and she just doesn't want to tell you right now. You've only just met, at least she isn't being as full on as she was. I wouldn't drop it straight away, could turn into some casual loving, don't necessarily need a relationship. And just string her along until you find something better lol.

It's definitely in my top 10, it changed the comic book genre. One of the first films to play it more dark instead of being happy happy queer fest. Citizen Kane isn't a great film, but it changed the game so it's worth watching for that reason alone.

f**k you mang! I just threw it in there because I could only think of 4.

Top 5 films: 1. Pulp Fiction. 2. Watchmen. 3. The Road. 4. Inglorious Basterds. 5. Fight Club. Blatant Bump!

I remember a thread like this about 7 years ago, and people started posting pictures of their dinner lol. Anyway, I had sausage and bacon buttys. Yum yum yum.

Watched a film called Born to Ride last night, so f**king gash don't even waste your time storing the name of the film in your memory.

I'll just say Pic 1 or whatever, type out everything that's on there and put it how it should be. Pic 1: Press the first button to start. You'll unlock new stages after completing each section. Pic 2: You are here. Press a button to choose a starting point. You'll unlock new starting points after completing sections. Pic 3 is good as it is. Pic 4: Here you'll start to ride on a starter (You can keep this as poor if you want, but starter sounds better.) bike, you'll be able to upgrade components as you complete sections. There is a map where you can choose your route. Each section and bike varies, try to make it all the way to the end! Pic 5, not quite sure what you're trying to say, so can't really help, but with a bit more info I'm sure I can.

Insane, especially that flair at the end on that sketchy as f**k "quarter".

Think about that.

I hate old crusty gash regardless, unless the woman had a kid under 35, she ain't a MILF. I like my bitches young and my boys younger.