TROYston Posted October 13, 2012 Report Share Posted October 13, 2012 How many welsh does it take to change a light bulb? None, they all live in feking caves. It was only amusing when on Taffbow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdoku Posted October 13, 2012 Report Share Posted October 13, 2012 What is the definition of a farmer? A man outstanding in his field! I think just "Outstanding in his field!" sounds better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrialsIsHard Posted October 13, 2012 Report Share Posted October 13, 2012 I think just "Outstanding in his field!" sounds better. Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. That would be the joke you're looking for 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomm Posted October 13, 2012 Report Share Posted October 13, 2012 How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? A finite number. One to screw in the lightbulb and the rest to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Dunstan Posted October 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2012 Viagra have released a new pill called Viagra007. It doesn't make you harder, it just makes you roger more. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaRtZ Posted October 23, 2012 Report Share Posted October 23, 2012 Did you hear about the guy who cooled himself to absolute zero? Hes OK now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onza pro series guy Posted October 24, 2012 Report Share Posted October 24, 2012 Where does Saddam Hussien keep his CD's? He doesn't, he was executed in 2006. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Dunstan Posted October 30, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2012 I wish everyone would stop criticising Jimmy Savile. When I was 8, he fixed it for me to milk a cow blindfolded. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trialsiain Posted October 30, 2012 Report Share Posted October 30, 2012 (edited) . Edited October 30, 2012 by trialsiain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isitafox Posted November 9, 2012 Report Share Posted November 9, 2012 Got home from the pub last night after a 6hr drinking marathon absolutely stinking of ale. The wife said to me "Can't you just go out and have one quiet drink for once?!" "No problem" I replied struggling out of the sofa, "I'll just get my coat!" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JT! Posted November 10, 2012 Report Share Posted November 10, 2012 I wish everyone would stop criticising Jimmy Savile. When I was 8, he fixed it for me to milk a cow blindfolded. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teMzV3vmlMw Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Dunstan Posted December 4, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2012 Dear Noel Edmonds, Send me £100k or I will say you touched me on Swapshop. Deal or no deal? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duncy H Posted December 4, 2012 Report Share Posted December 4, 2012 I tried to catch some fog... ...I mist.I tried to catch some fog... ...I mist. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HippY Posted December 5, 2012 Report Share Posted December 5, 2012 Every time when I get home grom pub i am totally wasted. I realised that it is because of a particular beer, but I do not know which one. Last week I examined it and I found a conlcusion. It is the 18th one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bucky Posted December 5, 2012 Report Share Posted December 5, 2012 why did Kate Middleton cross the road? so she didnt have to get into the black mercedes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Swales Posted December 6, 2012 Report Share Posted December 6, 2012 If anyone ever needs an ark, I Noah guy. Also, insomniacs: look on the bright side, only two more sleeps til Christmas! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
showurcolours Posted December 6, 2012 Report Share Posted December 6, 2012 Want to hear two interest facts about me? 1. I'm banned from argos 2. My cock is the same length as an argos pen 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Dunstan Posted December 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2012 I called the RSPCA today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing a fox and four cubs." "That's terrible," she replied. "Are they moving?" "I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "But that would explain the suitcase." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted December 7, 2012 Report Share Posted December 7, 2012 Cutting that down to fit in a tweet was taxing... Called the RSPCA: "I found a suitcase, inside: a fox & 4 cubs" "That's terrible, are they moving?" "Not sure, but it'd explain the suitcase" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
club_card Posted December 7, 2012 Report Share Posted December 7, 2012 How many french cats does it take to catch a fish? Quatre! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaRtZ Posted December 8, 2012 Report Share Posted December 8, 2012 My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is crap. The flaps only open from 1-16 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hI-OOPS-CAPS Posted December 10, 2012 Report Share Posted December 10, 2012 No Moore Mr. Night Sky. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
customrider-Rhys Posted December 11, 2012 Report Share Posted December 11, 2012 1, what happens to a politician when you give him viagra? he gets taller 2, guy comes out of an antique shop carrying a big grandfather clock, bumped into this drunk fell down broke the clock all to pieces guy gets up and says "why don't you watch where you going" the drunk says "why don't you carry a wristwatch like everybody else?" 3, man walks into a bar, ouch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Dunstan Posted December 14, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2012 My next door neighbour has just confronted me about items missing from her washing line. I nearly sh*t her pants! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny00135 Posted December 14, 2012 Report Share Posted December 14, 2012 Why did the black guy cross the road? To get to the chicken on the other side.. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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