Pashley26

Fitted the 255LPH pump this morning. The car feels much easier to drive now, lots more torque and a lot smoother. I think the old pump may have been on the way out. I'm trying to get to the bottom of my whistle noise... It's annoying.

That's because Rich has adopted you as his new target for misery since I stopped posting lots.

Fitted the air filter and box; wow. Chaviest sounding POS ever, I immediately took it off and refitted the standard airbox.

Been advised by my mapper that with a 255lph pump, decat, air filter and decat up pipe I should see 380-400BHP. Cannot wait! Roll on next Tuesday.

Love it! It's just so good to drive, I wasn't ever interested in them at all. I only bought it because it was cheap and everyone said they were really good. Flat shift means you can keep your foot planted on the throttle and as soon as you press the clutch the clutch switch momentarily cuts the ignition so the time that you are on and off powering the drive train is minimal. It's cool but I won't ever use it. I will use the launch control to scare people at traffic lights.

I accidently a set of -30mm Eibach springs, DS3000 pads, Walbro fuel pump, decat and carbon airbox. Then some special 7.5w50 HKS branded oil and a HKS filter. 380bhp, flat shift and launch control please.

Loving that M9.

A bit late here I know but... Avoid Techniclutch like the plague. They have absolutely no clue at all about the products they sell, which are usually remanufactured. When you're replacing a clutch it's not really something you want to stop and start on; because once you've ripped it all apart you have no option but to put it back together or leave it in pieces taking up space until you get the parts you need. Techniclutch had me waiting two weeks for a refund because they sent me a 2WD friction and pressure plate with a 4WD flywheel. And they couldn't see how that was their fault, and told me that I just didn't understand what I had bought. Nah. All hell broke loose, I had to borrow money to buy the right parts (CG, they were AMAZING) and when it all went back together it was beautiful. When my Subaru needs a clutch I'll be getting one from CG again - http://www.clutch-specialists.co.uk/?gclid=Cj0KEQjw5Ie8BRCJ9fHlr_bH24cBEiQAkoDQcQbH8w_tW_N6dvThPNGqZOywYZSRf7lZ2SHU3ts98REaAg_48P8HAQ - Would you f**king believe it. Subaru hasn't broken down for two weeks! Two f**king weeks!!!!! Before. After. The bridging wire from the clock spring to the airbag was missing, one's in the post...So I have an airbag light on. I changed the rear diff carrier for a solid mounted one. This has made it feel much more nice. I have no pictures, but you can have a video that show it doesn't clunk when you change gear at high load. I snow foamed it. I love my hand held snow foam gun (LOLS WILLY JOKES). Then I waxed it with Cherry Glaze. Then I drove it home. Now I'm going to buy some new discs and pads for it and a set of -45mm springs and some spacers. Then I'm going to leave it alone.

As usual I was slightly outclassed by my friends today, but not necessarily outgunned. PPPWRX STI 1 - DB9 and SL55AMG 0 No chance with the Huracan though.

Don't all Ford V6's sound like that when the tappets are way out of line? I had an issue with a GTE where the adjuster lock nut was worn and every time I tightened it up the clearance would slip back until the nut unwound off the end of the rocker causing it to knock like f**k.

Pooperoo passed a legitimate MOT today. So I drove it home. Slooooow. Might sell it and buy a redtop. Mapping next month, pikey launch trolling and 400BHP please.

Gay engines.

Drove the Poobaru to work today. It didn't break down.

It's only so obvious because I purposefully buy cars which have been hugely neglected and need saving. - The Subaru has been making a weird chirpy noise when I boot it. As per what you hear when boost enters the equation. Well on my way home from work this happened. And as per my note to the Boost Crew (an elite crew of diehard petrol heads)...Relentless misery. So when I got home I decided I'd make myself a boost leak testing kit. By that, what I mean is. I took a can of Pringles, stuffed it into the intercooler inlet pipe (which is straight off the turbo), super glue'd a bit of pipe into the Pringles can and it used my fake fag pump smoke into it. And found that every single clamp, hose, joint and other integral retaining item which should be tight...Wasn't. So I tightened everything up, replaced a few hoses and went for a drive. Now I have ALL the boost.

In unbelievable news... The day I picked the POS up. Now. I've polished a good £1500 into it. I took the Subaru into work today to rape the valet bay, and I used the cO2 tester in the workshop over the header tank. No exhaust fumes. And it didn't over heat or use any coolant or oil on the way there. So I got my machine polisher out, and did what Jardo does best. Q the music... First wash, done. Dried. Wet vac mother f**ker. Door shuts and edges. Boom. Rusty shit. Wire brushed and spray painted. Better, not great. Carpets, bossed. G3 upholstery sealant, sealing. First stage of diminishing abrasives. Diminished. Polishing the tail pipe. Exhausting. Second stage of diminishing abrasives. Diminished. Roof. Roofed. Spoiler. Spoilt. Headlight. Illuminated. Second wash, seals cleaned, polishing spray sprayed, wheels brushed, wheel arches arched and undersideded. Glaze, glazed. Job, jobbed. Bonus content. Please note, the bonnet still is and will always be. f**ked. xXx

Subaru ownership is still shit. Spot the zip tie. Went to Prawns wedding, drove it 200 miles the day after, took it for a drive all across the back of Salisbury through to Mytchett and then back through Chandlers Ford to pick Stephanie up from the airport. Drove home, and about five minutes from home I heard a weird squeal like there was water on the auxiliary belt. Weird. As I pulled onto the motorway to go up one junction I heard it squeal again. Weird. As I pulled off the motorway the squeal became constant, and the temperature gauge started to rise. So I put the heaters on full (in 25* heat) and the temp gauge started to drop down again. About 500 yards from home the heaters went cold and steam started billowing from under the bonnet. Opened the bonnet, coolant everywhere. Boo. Borrowed a friends pressure tester. Found the top radiator hose had been touching the fan. Hence the zip tie. What sort of willy zip ties something like that out the way of the fan...

Like my plate says. No No George.

Sooooo.... Subaru ownership has if I'm honest been a very mixed bag so far. Obviously we know about Key-gate. Wednesday was Stephanie's Granda's funeral, so I thought I'd take the opportunity to fly up on Tuesday, spend the day supporting the family and then drive the Subaru back on Wednesday evening. With no working remote fob I've been resorting to inputting the alarms pin code into the drop down security panel in the fusebox; this means unlocking the car with the key, inputting the code to set the alarm, then re-inputting the code again to turn the alarm off, then putting the key in the ignition and starting the car. Slick. So I won a replacement Sigma M30 fob from from eBay for £15. As duplicate fobs can be easily paired to the existing Sigma alarm. By the time I left for Newcastle the fob wasn't delivered. Nee bosh I thought, using the pin-pad is a reliable way of starting the car. And at least nobody could start the car without me inputting the code if the keys got nicked again. (notice the use of the word reliable). So, funeral over, family supported, girlfriend stable I got a lift home to start my epic journey to Mordor. I donned my trackie B's, put a bit of UK Garage in the cassette deck and hit the road! The journey was going well. As I sat in traffic, DJ Sammy pumping through the cones I was taking in the amazing fit and finish of the Subaru...On the plus side the AC was as cold as ice, and my MPG I was willing to sacrifice. Got past that rusty piece of shit they call the Angel of the North and the A1 was free flowing, my toes were getting a nice cool breeze, window down, tunes up. Life was good and I was happy with my purchase. So I thought I'd stop off at Wetherby services for a couple of cans and some Nice N Spicy Nik Nak's. No way I was putting the BP bullcrap in my new super rocket rally car, not with so many Shell stations on the A1. I'm not putting anything in my car unless it's got POWER written on it. I should have realised my journey was doomed when the M and S petrol station didn't have any Nice N Spicy and I ended up with Skips. f**king Skips?! Car looked beast mode though. So as I'm making my way back onto the A1 I hit my first issue. Some willy in a Kia towing a house on wheels behind him makes the biggest hash of pulling out into merging traffic I've ever seen, and cuts right across a lorry which ripped the bicycles off the back of his caravan. Knobhead. Bells and lights all over the shop I dived onto the hard shoulder, planted the throttle and avoided near certain caravan/bike/lorry death. All the while I'm thinking... So I've made my way to the M1, munching on my Skips, feeling them melt on my tongue, listening to a bit of Boomfunk MC's and tailgating Focus ST's. Boom, I see it. Shell station!!! So I throw out the land anchors and lay my chariot of champions to rest on the forecourt, filled her up with jungle just and strutted my way in. Where I legitimately purchased £40 of fuel and a packet of Chewits. Go back to my car, put the key in the door, sit myself down into my throne. Alarm pad don't work... Put my pin number in again; wrong entry. At this point I panic, and think I'm double pressing a button or something. So I run into the petrol station and borrow a pencil to use the rubber end to push down the buttons. First digit in...Second digit in...Third digit in...Fourth digit in...BOOM! Alarm starts going cray cray, lights flashing, hazards on. Double you, tee, eff. So I wait 20 seconds for the alarm to stop, try again. No luck. So I get out the car, lock the door, unlock it again, try again. Still no luck, immobilisers stuck on. Phoned the breakdown people and pushed the car to the back of the services; opened up my ninth can of red-bull, bought a pack of fags and sat chain smoking on the bonnet for an hour. AA man phones me... ''I'm coming' out to have a look at ur Soobaroo. Tell us kidda, what's wrong with it?'' ''The alarm fob isn't working and it won't recognise the pin when I try to enter it manually.'' ''When did you last try?'' ''Half an hour ago.'' ''Try it again'' Opened the door, put the pin number in...Mother f**ker worked! So I thanked the man, put my red bull in the cup holder and off I went! Just sayin... After 9 cans of red bull I couldn't stop needing to wee; I had to stop at literally every lay-by on the A1 to wee. 5 and a half hours later I came under my ''I'm home'' sign. Got home, 7 hours later. Tucked him into his new parking space. And hit the hay. Woke up the next morning, saw the post man on the way out. New fob! Coded it up, and shit yeaaaaaah it works. Then I took it for a good drive, it was amazing. Lad I work with wanted a go, so I gave him the keys and sent him off up the road. He was a bit enthusiastic if I'm honest. Now it's at home and I really like it. Going round to Prawns tomorrow to give him a go. Poobaru win. Tl;Dr? Flew to Newcastle, went to a funeral, Subaru broke down, spent hours at the side of the road, eventually it fixed itself, drove it home without having to turn it off the whole time, new bits arrived, fixed it, took it for a hoon.

I have big spoiler. I have front splitter. I need new boot. I need springs. Driving Subaru home from Newcastle tomorrow. I need luck.

I have keys that work. Bwarrrp.

I could spend £3000 on it and it would still be a "cheap" WRX STI in what it owes me.

Got my new key, unlocks all the doors, works the ignition and I can bypass the alarm with the code (it's a super sophisticated alarm!) I just can't start it until the transponders get codes. So I have cleaned out the garage and tucked Raggy up until an auto locksmith comes out. Which will hopefully be tonight.

Going through the alarm logs on our house someone entered the house yesterday morning whilst I was in the shower. Keys for the Subaru have been nicked. Currently on my way to a dealer to pick up a new ignition lock, chip reader and transponder key. Auto electrician is coming out tonight to reset the tracker, alarm and immobiliser codes. £500 down the drain...

Exactly, because no matter how many BHP's you've got if your car is this low - in the real world the only race you'll win is to the back of the Q at GSF for a new sump.

It isn't fast at the moment, because I've lost the f**king keys! Stephanie and I think they've been stolen and they'll come back for the car tonight. 0 to 60 4.8 seconds is stupid fast. Even if you're too much of a cock to admit it