I understand that. And not being with my son scares the life out of me, but getting lung or lip damage years from now doesn't, so call it ignorance, but i don't belive i'm going to die early from smoking, so as said, i want give up but i need to be 100% for it for it to work. Don't hate me, always lived for today never care about tomo. Things change as you get older though. Don't start!