A Spot Of Quick Proof Reading If You Don't Mind

[froggy]

Hey, I'm sending this letter off tomorrow so I just need a quick proof-read check, not so much spellings but more dates and figures as the department who will get this wont be the wages department.

It makes sense to me but the dates and figures have to make perfect sense to the recipient's, thanks.

I believe I’ve been underpaid on the final of my payments made by Mecca Bingo on the 28/05/2008. I was only paid £317.68 which I believe to be a significant amount shorter than what I was expecting.

To my knowledge the cutoff dates are the 9th of each month and the payment dates on the 28th of the month, with a few days give and take Dependant on which days these dates fall up on.

I placed my notification of my resignation on the 17/04/2008 with two weeks working notification which would have made my last shift fall on the 1/05/2008.

If I’m correct in regards to the nature of cutoff and payment dates; then this should mean that I received a full monthly payment on the 28/04/2008 which I did.

Therefore if the cutoff date falls on the 9th of the month then my final payment made on the 28/05/2008 should have been for the hours worked between 09/04/2008 to 09/05/2008 effectively, as my final shift was on 01/05/2008. Then I should be owed for the hours worked between 09/04/2008 to 01/05/2008.

As my weekly working pattern gave me Wednesday and Sundays off, this would mean the total amount of days I did in service for Mecca Bingo, which I should have been paid for on the 28/05/2008 was 16 days. On a rough average of 7 hours per day, at an hourly rate of £6.42, this therefore means I’m owed 16 x 7 hour days (112 hours) at £6.42 per hour. Amounting to a total gross sum of £719.04, on top of which I was owed an estimated 45 holiday hours amounting to my estimated expected gross sum of £1007,94.

I haven't wrapped it up on introduced it yet, IIt's just the body and whether the dates and figures make sense, there's probably a few grammar mistakes or spelling but I'll sort them out.

Thanks again.

Edited June 4, 2008 by froggy

[Mark W]

Dependant doesn't need a capital D.

[Luke Rainbird]

Yep, that was all that immediately stood out to me too

[froggy]

Dependant doesn't need a capital D.

Cheers, I'm not too fussedabout the spelling, it just need to make sense, I mean the dates and stuff, is it fully understandable?

[Tomm]

It's a bit wordy and overly formal in places which I think makes it harder to understand. E.g.

I believe I’ve been underpaid on the final of my payments made by Mecca Bingo on the 28/05/2008. I was only paid £317.68 which I believe to be a significant amount shorter than what I was expecting.

Could simply be something like:

I believe I’ve been underpaid with regards to my final paycheque working for you - I was paid £317.68 on 28/05/2008, significantly less than expected.

But it does make sense. I always just cringe a little when people write overly formal letters about something that doesn't require that level of formality, especially when they're young. 90% of the time it just makes you look daft IMO.

[Heatsink]

Assuming the job of the letter is to get your paperwork sorted asap with the money owed, I think the letter will be more successful if it's to the point and has some positive tones. Gives all the facts simply and thanks them for their speedy assistance. I'd strip it back to this structure:

Contact details

Reason for letter - Succinct explanation of what it covers, i.e intention to leave and you wish to summarise the money owed to you so this can be paid asap.

Calculation of owed monies, just bullet points (easier to understand than when talked through in a long paragraph):

• Hours worked @ £x a hour = :
  
• Holiday not taken =
  
• TOTAL
  

End letter saying in a positive way thanking them in advance for quickly processing it, and saying what you expect (processing in next week). Inviting them to contact you within a week and you will contact them again after that time to check the status.

Good luck!

Steve