Simpson Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 What does an essex girl use for protection during sex? A bus shelter!Nope everyone in essex knows you can just push a discarded bottle cap up there.#Effective I tell thee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiefy Posted July 26, 2009 Report Share Posted July 26, 2009 has anybody noticed this 2007-Chinese year of chicken-bird flu09-Chinese year of pig - swine flunext year chinese year of the cock -can you think of what going to happen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paperclip Posted July 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2009 has anybody noticed this 2007-Chinese year of chicken-bird flu09-Chinese year of pig - swine flunext year chinese year of the cock -can you think of what going to happenI see your planing ahead Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cotty08 Posted July 26, 2009 Report Share Posted July 26, 2009 A new games console has just been released and its called nintendo wii game boy.The scottish peedafile assosiation are sueing them who made it becasue they thaught it was a small boy that you played with Turns out the game boy was wank Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurence--Trials Posted July 26, 2009 Report Share Posted July 26, 2009 A new games console has just been released and its called nintendo wii game boy.The scottish peedafile assosiation are sueing them who made it becasue they thaught it was a small boy that you played with Turns out the game boy was wank Not the best i've herd. no offence.Laurence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob. Posted July 26, 2009 Report Share Posted July 26, 2009 A new games console has just been released and its called nintendo wii game boy.The scottish peedafile assosiation are sueing them who made it becasue they thaught it was a small boy that you played with Turns out the game boy was wank Lol , and your sig is a bit faggish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Moss Posted July 26, 2009 Report Share Posted July 26, 2009 Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out the underpants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Moss Posted July 26, 2009 Report Share Posted July 26, 2009 What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He smashed his his nose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiefy Posted July 26, 2009 Report Share Posted July 26, 2009 If Harry Potter is so magical, why can't he fix his own f*cking eyesight?If Ron Weasley is so magical, why cant he change the colour of his f*ckin hair?I went out on the town last night and I didn't pull, but as I was walking home I saw a big fat tart pissed up laying on the pavement. I took her knickers off and started shagging her. I was immediately pulled away and arrested.I never even saw the chalk line round her body.My daughter came out of the closet recently.I'm just pi**ed off that I can't afford a cellar like that showy Austrian c*nt.Just had a water fight over the park with a bunch of local kids.I won!No one's a match for me and my kettle.When watching Michael Jackson's coffin being pushed away by the Jackson Brothers, was anybody else reminded of those two words...Cool Runnings.Recently, I saw an article about Americans sending their old clothes over to the poor in Africa.Pointless, I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.My mum caught me masturbating the other day.I'm not sure what freaked her out more:The fact that I had my hands down my pantsOr that I was sat looking at my recently dead hamster while I did it.You know you've got a problem when every letter of the alphabet triggers a porn bonanza in your address bar.What's small black and irish ?lepricoon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George.E Posted July 26, 2009 Report Share Posted July 26, 2009 A pig walks into a bar an asks for a plate of chips, barman says "sorry we don't serve food". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurence--Trials Posted July 27, 2009 Report Share Posted July 27, 2009 Man gives blood 2 save his wifes life.A few months later they are divorced.Man says to ex "i want my blood back bitch" Woman throws tampon at man and says"here i pay you back monthly" LMFAO! :DLOL. Thats quite discusting, but hey. If Harry Potter is so magical, why can't he fix his own f*cking eyesight?If Ron Weasley is so magical, why cant he change the colour of his f*ckin hair?I went out on the town last night and I didn't pull, but as I was walking home I saw a big fat tart pissed up laying on the pavement. I took her knickers off and started shagging her. I was immediately pulled away and arrested.I never even saw the chalk line round her body.My daughter came out of the closet recently.I'm just pi**ed off that I can't afford a cellar like that showy Austrian c*nt.Just had a water fight over the park with a bunch of local kids.I won!No one's a match for me and my kettle.When watching Michael Jackson's coffin being pushed away by the Jackson Brothers, was anybody else reminded of those two words...Cool Runnings.Recently, I saw an article about Americans sending their old clothes over to the poor in Africa.Pointless, I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.My mum caught me masturbating the other day.I'm not sure what freaked her out more:The fact that I had my hands down my pantsOr that I was sat looking at my recently dead hamster while I did it.You know you've got a problem when every letter of the alphabet triggers a porn bonanza in your address bar.What's small black and irish ?lepricoonHAHAHAHA most of these made me laugh especially the harry potter ones.Laurence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alex-trials-boy Posted July 28, 2009 Report Share Posted July 28, 2009 A new games console has just been released and its called nintendo wii game boy.The scottish peedafile assosiation are sueing them who made it becasue they thaught it was a small boy that you played with Turns out the game boy was wank haaahahehahahahahahahaheheheheheh thats so funny hahahhehehhahahheh best one on the jokes topic by far hehhah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paperclip Posted July 31, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2009 come on the ladies, lets see what youve got!Also on a not as fun note, There are to be no more mj jokes in this thread as others have been finding it rather rude.! aparently. on a happy note no one seems to care about jade goodie so alls well in the hood . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiefy Posted July 31, 2009 Report Share Posted July 31, 2009 come on the ladies, lets see what youve got!Also on a not as fun note, There are to be no more mj jokes in this thread as others have been finding it rather rude.! aparently. on a happy note no one seems to care about jade goodie so alls well in the hood .What is the difference between jade goody and a moped?A moped can reach 30.jade goody has been cheered up by one bit of good news today.She got ten quid on eBay for her hairdryer.Something To Brighten Your Day...When you next find yourself with nothing to do,try this...1.Create a new folder on your desktop.2.Rename it "jade goody's Cancer"3.Right click on it and click on delete4.When the box "would you like to remove jade goodys cancer?" appears...Click "NO"5.Repeat as many times as you like but NEVER click YES! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quick_spider Posted July 31, 2009 Report Share Posted July 31, 2009 If you want sick jokes, head over to Sickipedia.com (>50% of the jokes in this thread are plagiarised from there, including the one below)Quick reminder on the guidelines:4. Racism Minimum Penalty - 2 Warning PointsTrials-Forum is open to people from any race, gender, physical or mental condition, sexual preference/orientation, IQ, age or religion, and as such intolerance of other people's beliefs, culture, IQ, gender, physical or mental conditions, sexual preference/orientation or age is unacceptable._____________________________________________________________Back on topic:I knew a guy who fell into an industrial grinding machine.He’s fine now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiefy Posted July 31, 2009 Report Share Posted July 31, 2009 If you want sick jokes, head over to Sickipedia.com (>50% of the jokes in this thread are plagiarised from there, including the one below)Quick reminder on the guidelines:4. Racism Minimum Penalty - 2 Warning PointsTrials-Forum is open to people from any race, gender, physical or mental condition, sexual preference/orientation, IQ, age or religion, and as such intolerance of other people's beliefs, culture, IQ, gender, physical or mental conditions, sexual preference/orientation or age is unacceptable._____________________________________________________________Back on topic:I knew a guy who fell into an industrial grinding machine.He’s fine now.That would be the site were i get mine .Sorry to anyone who i personally offended by the jokes ive posted but i have nothing against people of different colors races etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Samsam~ Posted July 31, 2009 Report Share Posted July 31, 2009 I was walking through B&Q the other day looking at patios when a staff member walked up to me and asked if I wanted 'decking'.I quickly punched him in the gut before he had the chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charliet Posted August 3, 2009 Report Share Posted August 3, 2009 OK heres a way for the newbys to keep happy Theres allways rules!NO race joke's NO offencive joke's against people on the forum! NO jokes under 10 words now this is a joke thread so dosent have to be bike related.!!!!!! < DO NOT POST IN THIS TOPIC IF YOUR NOT SHARING A JOKE UNLESS YOUR JEWISH/GOD./OR JUST ULTRA COOL.Note: chatup lines, sligh comments etc are all jokes just dont be getting hannah into it or shell just comeone to every one let the jokes commence . .. . . . ... .haha i got a good on wat do u call a scotish clockroom atendent ?angus mc coat up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paperclip Posted August 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2009 haha i got a good on wat do u call a scotish clockroom atendent ?angus mc coat uphaha that one got me:P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joshlyd1 Posted August 3, 2009 Report Share Posted August 3, 2009 /"/WARNING/"/ UNFUNNY JOKES ALERT /"/where do ants go on holiday ?? Fr - antsHow do toads travel ???hopper-craftWhy are school cooks cruel??Because they batter fish and beat eggs What do you call a ant who honestly hates school ???Tru-ant Why did the cyclops give up teaching ???Because he only had 1 pupilWhat can a school boy keep and give away at the same time ???A coldWhy is history like fruit-cake ???Because its full of dates Why dont skeletons play music in the church ??Because they have no organs LOL thats it for today more unfunny jokes soon/"/WARNING/"/ UNFUNNY JOKES ALERT /"/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A-u-s-t-i-n Posted August 4, 2009 Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 Q:Whats green and got wheel's??A:Grass i was lying about the wheels Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hdmackay Posted August 4, 2009 Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 Q:Whats green and got wheel's??A:Grass i was lying about the wheelsSeriously... was that meant to be a joke? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paperclip Posted August 4, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 Seriously... was that meant to be a joke?Hang Him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trials-ryan Posted August 4, 2009 Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 (edited) 3 men were in a strip club, the englishman put £20 in her right buttock, the irishman put £50 in her left buttock but the scottish man took his card swiped it through her ass and took £70 cash back. Edited August 4, 2009 by trials-ryan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linden Posted August 4, 2009 Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 Why did humpty dumpty push his girl friend of the wall.... to see her crack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.