rich4130 Posted May 11, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 Exactly. Its much easier to talk to people online, get advice. Believe me, this isnt a wind up!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Harrison Posted May 11, 2007 Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 I'm sure you'll be ok. Just tell the doctor you got jumped in an alleyway and done up the bum... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poopipe Posted May 11, 2007 Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 HAAAHAA!!! gayer!! sorry. only joking phone up NHS direct if you don't want to talk to anyone face to face - they'll tell you whether to panic or not but do be honest or theyll give you the wrong advice. It's most likely piles which like Si-man said you can put cream on and like JT said you can pass off as the result of a giant, awkward shit when you go to the chemist. I've had piles a couple of times due to straining too hard on the bog and not drinking enough water so it's not like they're exclusively bumsex related.If you've torn your poopipe you're in more trouble and you definitely want to seek some medical assistance. You probably also want to ask the internet about safe ways to stimulate the old browneye cos we're not allowed to talk about our own tried and tested methods of preparing the ground on TF anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rich4130 Posted May 11, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 How do i know if i have piles? I have had a couple of poos since, but they have stung like mad and then yet more bleeding. They havent been sloppy either. But the pain when i do is unbarable.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bessell Posted May 11, 2007 Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 How do i know if i have piles? I have had a couple of poos since, but they have stung like mad and then yet more bleeding. They havent been sloppy either. But the pain when i do is unbarable....Think this is defo proof that a giners ARE gay! and b NEVER i mean NEVER put any thing up you bum, leave that to the girls... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
br3n Posted May 11, 2007 Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 just look at it like this, yeh you have a personal problem.But the doctors gotta look at your bloody ass and keep a straight face/not be sick.Joke is most definatly on him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Token Posted May 11, 2007 Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 There's a really high chance that it'll get infected! Ofcourse poo is not the most hygienic thing to be rubbing into an open wound.If the worst comes to the worst you may end up needing a colon transplant and a colostomy bag, do whatever it takes to get yourself sorted dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poopipe Posted May 11, 2007 Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 How do i know if i have piles?generally the first warning is when there's blood in your poo - check the paper - it can also be a bit itchy.FFS - phone NHS direct, tell em what you've done and get their opinion. They can put you through to real nurses who actually know what theyre talking about and who will recommend the best course of action. If you've torn the poopipe you need medical assistance sharpish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Posted May 11, 2007 Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 do you mean it wont stop bleeding or you cant stop playing with your arse ?Both.sear it shut with a soldering iron.haha!It was my thumb. I have long finger nails aswell.....Reminds me of a saying, One up the bum, Not harm done Thumb up the bum, Alot of harm done "errrr....mum, i'm bleeding" "where?!" "in my bum..." "why?!?!" "....i bum fingered myself..." "get out of my house!!"hahahaha!I'm sure you'll be ok. Just tell the doctor you got jumped in an alleyway and done up the bum...hahaha!HAAAHAA!!! gayer!!Pmsl!But the doctors gotta look at your bloody ass and keep a straight face/not be sick.Doc: "How may i help you "Rich: "Im bleeding from my anus "Doc: "Ok let me have a look "Doc: "And what happend sir"Rich: "Well.. blah blah...... :$ "Doc: :lol: Rich: poo is not the most hygienic thing to be rubbing into an open wound.Now that's a quote to remeber. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rich4130 Posted May 11, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 Didn't actually post this.. My bums perfectly fine. Luke Your Dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegrass Posted May 11, 2007 Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 Well im bloody disappointed now!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Posted May 11, 2007 Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 Didn't actually post this.. My bums perfectly fine. Luke Your Dead. What a surprise! This is even more pointless than some of my threads, it wasn't even that funny!Davey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Token Posted May 11, 2007 Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 It's quite a nice feeling to know that, in the event you do have the most embarrasing problem you can always come on here and get some sound advice. Good to know your okay though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JT! Posted May 11, 2007 Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 Rich you should still get your asshole checked anyway, just to be safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poopipe Posted May 11, 2007 Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 Rich you should still get your asshole checked anyway, just to be safe. har!!I'm disappointed though - I thought I might score once he'd healed up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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