Why did the woman cross the road? Never mind that, what the f**k is she doing out of the kitchen? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Teacher to class "What does your dad do at the weekend?" Little jack "He's a dancer in a gay bar and sometimes when the money is right he lets punters bang his arse and come in his mouth" Teacher pulling jack aside "Is that true?" "No miss, truth is he goes to watch Man City but I was too embarrassed to say!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know if your girlfriend is too young for you? You have to make aeroplane noises to get your cock in her mouth ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A Woman is in hospital in need of a blood transfusion. Luckily her Husband has the same blood type as her, so he gave her 2 pints of his blood. She soon made a full recovery and the couple lived happily on. 15 years later they divorce and the man asked for EVERYTHING back, including the blood. So, She whipped out her Bloody Tampon and put it in his hand. "WHAT THE f**k ARE YOU DOING??" the bloke yelled, "Paying you back in monthly installments!!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- just a couple for you lot. laky