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Getting Married Soon, Only One Problem....give Me Your Thoughts


lego

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I'm married.

I think that if you can, you should get a complete set of in-laws that support you and like you.

Even if that means doing what you see as sucking up to someone you see as being a bit of a twat, do it pronto. You can decide later if you don't want to have someone like that as a relative. But please, sort him out for the wedding. It'll make everyone happier (I'm thinking of you, the bride and her father, and even those others if he "allows" them to go). You'll be able to cut the cake with a clear conscience.

My in-laws are mostly nutjobs, but I'm, glad I have them. So from that point of view I'd agree with everyone who thinks you sort this out, even if it is just for the short term.

Ian.

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Congrats on the wedding dude

as for the in laws, it is thier problem, the father should WANT to go to his daughters wedding for his daughter if no one else, not much of a father if he doesn't eh.

Like others have said, sit down with him, explain the day isn't about you and him but about you and his daughter starting what will hopefully be the rest of your lives together. He needs to put aside his differences with you for at least that one day and swallow his pathetic bleeding pride........selfish is the word i would use for him.

Sit and talk to him and lay all your cards out on the table, if he dont go he will be breaking his daughters heart, and he wont get a chance to rectify that, if you dont at least try talk then your bride to be may blame you....not good!

Frooty

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Having spoken with my other half to be, she seems to think this problem is all about the fact that "I was only interested in what he was wearing to the wedding, and never actually invited him"

And to top it off she thinks talking to him won`t help.

At the moment she is talking to her family, but pussy footing around the wedding subject (not talking about it at all...which I know is upsetting her)....which i think is fooking stupid.

Liam.

Edited by lego
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as i am only 16 i havent been in a situation like this, but as with every other situation with someone being an arse. find out exactly why. if your partner thinks talking to him will be a bad idea talk to a different in law to be. make a good impression. and then maybe you will get something out of it. He obviously has a problem with you and i don't understand why that means f***ing up his daugters wedding. And if she's getting upset about it, then sort it out ASAP. Upset females are very hard to sort out at the best of times.

cheers

alan

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Considering the situation, she is the only daughter in the family...Me thinks the Dad is holding on to her and is scared of letting her go. He doesn't hate you for any reason other than you're taking his little girl away.

As said, have a talk with him and if all else fails, just don't let it bother you. Although you have to be careful as you can't be seen to be being an arse by your girl, especially not to HER parents.

On the other hand, you mentioned wearing a suit...does he have any previous history associating suits? Emotional scars?

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The only other time my dad has ever worn a suit is to his dads/my grandads funeral,but don't see why that should stop him...Tell lizzy i'm going to come liam (Y) (<<sounds so wrong)

zoo baby!

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So he's not going to come to a wedding that he's paying for?

Or is he not paying for it???

I'm not saying that that's the big issue here, rather that if he's willing to pay for the wedding as the tradition dictates, it's a sure sign that he's at least happy that his daughter is getting married regardless. And this should be your encouragement to ask him again to go.

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So he's not going to come to a wedding that he's paying for?

Or is he not paying for it???

I'm not saying that that's the big issue here, rather that if he's willing to pay for the wedding as the tradition dictates, it's a sure sign that he's at least happy that his daughter is getting married regardless. And this should be your encouragement to ask him again to go.

lol...no hes not paying for it...and thats not an issue, I`am not sure if hes happy or not to be honest... and I`ll never ask if he doesn`t show up.

The only other time my dad has ever worn a suit is to his dads/my grandads funeral,but don't see why that should stop him...Tell lizzy i'm going to come liam (Y) (<<sounds so wrong)

zoo baby!

Ok just to fill people in reading...(zoo) is my ladies brother. He was banned from coming the wedding by his dad....because I asked about what his dads wearing :S

Dave if you`re going have you told you mum..and that miserable fecker?

And if you have can you tell your sis to cheer her up a bit...might even get me a blow :-

Liam.

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Dave if you`re going have you told you mum..and that miserable fecker?

And if you have can you tell your sis to cheer her up a bit...might even get me a blow :-

Liam.

dude please dont tell us you say shit like that to her dad. if you do it could be a small reason why hes a little apprehensive on the whole situation. :(

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dude please dont tell us you say shit like that to her dad. if you do it could be a small reason why hes a little apprehensive on the whole situation. :(

:D Na...I just like making Zoo tell me shut up.

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he prob just made a rubbish excuse to save ur feellings and hers, i know it's a lame excuse, but u might not of appreciated his honestly even less than u appreciate that excuse, hmm hope that makes sence and sorry if it sounds harsh.

sounds like he aint worth his balls, have a gd one though matey

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he prob just made a rubbish excuse to save ur feellings and hers, i know it's a lame excuse, but u might not of appreciated his honestly even less than u appreciate that excuse, hmm hope that makes sence and sorry if it sounds harsh.

sounds like he aint worth his balls, have a gd one though matey

No harshness taken, this topic is open for all points of view...usually i have the answer to everything....but this is doing my head in....and yes the meaning to the universe and everything is 42...

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Dude,i'm married and have been for eight years now,all of them happy ones so far.My brother's a Taurus and i know just how stubborn you guys are but you do need to sort this out for your bride to be and your own sake.How do your parents feel about this?? May be try to have a family meeting including both sets of parents to clear the air prior to the wedding day(you don't want any upsets on the day,it will spoil everything!!)

Good call for your brother in law to be to support you and his sister,and he could help further by trying to talk to his dad! Sounds like there is obviously something other than not being asked to his daughters wedding,or you only being concerned about what he's going to wear bothering him.

My mother in law used to embarrass me at every opportunity,sometimes,in front of my Mother,this really wound me up so we had a family meeting and i told her straight that i don't appreciate the way she treats me especially in front of my Mum.I found out that it was just her nature and that's the way she was dealing with the whole wedding thing(It can be quite a trauma to some parents!!) after that meeting,she couldn't do enough for me,My Mum has passed on now and my mother in law has assumed the role of mum,i feel like she was testing me to see if i was strong enough to be a good husband for her "Rose" and i feel that i proved myself that night we had the family meeting!

Did you go to your bride to be's father and let him know your intentions for his daughter?? Seriously dude,it could be something as simple as that and may be he feels that you have been disrespectful in some way,but do your best to find out what the problem is and rectify it,because it's hard enough to be married with the support of both sides of family.much less than having on side of family that doesn't want to know,you just don't need the added pressure.

Well congrats and blessings on your day,and most importantly,ENJOY IT!!

Mike.

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Is he someone that would have expected you to ask his permission before you proposed to her? If so and you didn't, maybe that's what narked him.

Na hes not that old fashioned, and my lady really doesn`t want me to talk to him about it :unsure:

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In-laws - Nob jockeys; FACT

Karen (my ball and chain, er, wife) said I should ask her dad for Karens hand in marriage and all that because he'd said to her if I didn't he'd go on a rampant path of destruction. So I did, and he said, "Ask Jean (mother in law)"

Tres helpful, non?

So, yeah, moral of the story is, parents go all funny when they realise that their kid is finally buggering off and they forgot to spend any time with them and that its too late. So they take it out on you.

Dont worry about it, the BEST person to talk abou it to is the jailer, er, I mean your future wife, and see how she feels about it and how she would like you to deal with it.

Because after all, the wedding is HER day, not yours. (Face it, why does your suit look like everyone elses if the attention is supposedly on you as well as her? For this reason I took my bike to the wedding and didnt wear a tie)

Edited by andyroo
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In-laws - Nob jockeys; FACT

Karen (my ball and chain, er, wife) said I should ask her dad for Karens hand in marriage and all that because he'd said to her if I didn't he'd go on a rampant path of destruction. So I did, and he said, "Ask Jean (mother in law)"

Tres helpful, non?

So, yeah, moral of the story is, parents go all funny when they realise that their kid is finally buggering off and they forgot to spend any time with them and that its too late. So they take it out on you.

Dont worry about it, the BEST person to talk abou it to is the jailer, er, I mean your future wife, and see how she feels about it and how she would like you to deal with it.

Because after all, the wedding is HER day, not yours. (Face it, why does your suit look like everyone elses if the attention is supposedly on you as well as her? For this reason I took my bike to the wedding and didnt wear a tie)

You my friend are a legend! That's what i want to do incase the opportunity calls

zoo baby!

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I've told me mum...she will probably tell me dad,i aren't bothered anyway she's my sister he ain't stopping me from seeing her get married,which if i don't i would probably die regretting it....and i also told mum and dad that's what they will end up doing :)

zoo baby!

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I've told me mum...she will probably tell me dad,i aren't bothered anyway she's my sister he ain't stopping me from seeing her get married,which if i don't i would probably die regretting it....and i also told mum and dad that's what they will end up doing :)

zoo baby!

wow...you have found a huge set of balls...whose were they? mine?

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