guineasmithpig Posted February 5, 2007 Report Share Posted February 5, 2007 do not poke badgers with spoons. its not as funny as the t-shirt makes outdo not drink 6 rounds of a pint of stella, and 2 shots of butterscotch schnapps in an hour and a half. or any length of time for that matter. in fact, just steer clear of this drinks combination at all costs. same for magners and jaegermeister. especially in the same bottle. oh dear lord..... you will not stop puking til one of your legs comes out of your mouthdo not attempt large gap downs to bollards. this will result in a lot of pain. especially if you have to drive 50miles home afterwardsdo not argue with your diabetic girlfriend when her blood sugar is low. this will also lead to a lot of pain. possibly more than the bollard incident you did not just sufferdo not accidentally 'poke' your missus in the bum. she won't believe it was an accident. this will lead to more pain than the bollard and blood sugar incidents put together!do not underestimate the predictability of stupidity (i'm sure i said that before the bloody film ripped me off)do not try to out do freeriders at step drops running a radially laced front wheeldo not run with scissors. no, really!do not faceplant into an 8ft vert quarter and dislocate both your shoulders. it sucksHOWEVERdo vote jeremy clarkson in as prime minister AT ALL COSTS!!!!!! and also boris johnson for king, though we're gonna have to do something bout the other lot first. hmmmmmmmmmm....do eat at least 2 of the huge bags of skittles whilst watching a film at the cinema. the world appears totally different once you leave said cinemado eat fox crunch cream biscuits. mmmmmmm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZOO!PYTHON Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 ''3.dont tie fishing line to peoples knockers on their front door''LMFAO! I'm soo doing that, what's so bad about it anyway??Mat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee Cable Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 Don't have sex with a fat, ugly girl you pulled in a club....you'll never live it down.You would think that you would of learnt your lesson after the first time, but what you on now? 12?Awaits warning..again.1. Dont ride your moped across a field and round a motorcross track trying to escape the police. 2. Dont try and use a angle grider near a friends finger, results in him not being able to feel his thumb..Still..and this was 6 years ago..lmao3. dont try and rally a Front wheel drive car..doesn't work. and you hit posts.4. Dont think you can dirt jump your new car..doesn't work..5. Dont tell a girl that you have a wooden leg, and then you meet with her, and she asks to see it, i get it out, and she runs away.. LMAO6. Dont run up to old men and start singing lady sovereigns new song in there face..they dont like it.7. Something i learnt last night, dont stack cones up and reverse your car into them, it doesnt like being used as a bowling ball.I have loads, just not time to write them all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan. Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 ''3.dont tie fishing line to peoples knockers on their front door''LMFAO! I'm soo doing that, what's so bad about it anyway??Mat well u run down the road a bit then start tugging at the line.... there door knocer starts to knock and they open the door to see who's there and u slack the line!!!! then when they shut the door do it again!!!believe me its the funniest thing to do at night!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Rankin Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 dont "accidently" come on your gf face when you were really "aiming" for her breasts, then proceed to piss yourself with laughter uncontrolably! doesnt go down well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adamtrials Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 Don't forge parents signatures on school documents for several years and get caught Don't tell your parents that parents evening at school is cancelled, send a fake letter home pretending to be the school saying it's cancelled,then have school ring home the next day asking why they weren't at parents evening Don't "modify" half term grade sheets Don't start an uncyclopedia page about your school, get everyone in the year to add stuff to it then have the school try and sue you for slander Don't tell teachers that they must have lost your work as you definatley handed it in, it doesn't work when you do it for every teacher and they all go and tell your form tutor Lol there's loads more, can't think of them atm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si-man Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 5. Dont tell a girl that you have a wooden leg, and then you meet with her, and she asks to see it, i get it out, and she runs away.. LMAOI actually started to piss myself when i read that.f**king classic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fish-Finger-er Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 1)dont fail to maintain ur king so it slips when backhoppin down steps. 2) dont continue to ride said king for rest of day3) dont try learning new tricks,then go to give a hefty kick once more, on said king, without having cleaned it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ogre Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 don't google image enema it's not as funny as you'd have thought Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si-man Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 don't google image enema it's not as funny as you'd have thought haha mint.Buuut, what does a dead person in a lab in pieces have to do with it lol? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ogre Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 haha mint.Buuut, what does a dead person in a lab in pieces have to do with it lol?i have no f**king idea you mean the 3rd 4th pictures along? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si-man Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 i have no f**king idea you mean the 3rd 4th pictures along?yep.I was like mint, but the image wasnt there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haz Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 Don't get one of your mates to kneel down behind another good friend, walk up to them and shove them over. They may well fall, break and dislocate thier arm. It won't be as funny as you thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fixed Pants™ Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 Mate recently got his collar bone broken from that. Don't do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fish-Finger-er Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 Don't get one of your mates to kneel down behind another good friend, walk up to them and shove them over. They may well fall, break and dislocate thier arm. It won't be as funny as you thought.someone tried that to me, it was well funny for me, not for them though. they didnt stand close enough, so i just stumbled back, and accidentally kicked him in the face, resultin in a loose tooth, and a whole lotta blood. was definately a do-er in my books. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ogre Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 yep.I was like mint, but the image wasnt there i clicked the thing + got worried when i saw the word edible in big red letters Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adamtrials Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 If you decide to pretend to spank a fat old french teacher multiple times when she's bent over thinking she can't see,make sure there are no other teachers standing behind you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A!! Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 If you decide to pretend to spank a fat old french teacher multiple times when she's bent over thinking she can't see,make sure there are no other teachers standing behind you...hahaha, it would've been awesome to go to school with you, the stuff you have got up to sounds hilarious Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boon racoon Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 (edited) from personal experience or observing those close to me...don't run over a car when drunk and fall through the windscreendon't drink 6 litres of white ace cider in an eveningdon't take ketamin, EVERdon't see a girl on the side when they're best mates, and live in the same housedon't go up to the top of a pub and shit on the bouncersdon't steal a stand-alone jellybean machine from a pub on a pub crawl, smash it up and steal the moneydon't snort absinthedon't get totally naked and chase after a 30 year old chav whos homophobicdon't funnel a bottle of apple sourz in 1 godon't tell a promo worker you're gay when he got gang-raped by 4 gay guysdon't go joy riding on sailsbury plain (most won't know what that is so - it's a military testing ground. and you end up getting chased by a tank)don't hit a steep hump-back bridge at 65mph when there's rivers either sidei'll leave you to work out the consqeuences, and which ones were me. haha Edited February 13, 2007 by the boon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
downhill_rob2@hotmail.com Posted February 13, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 Never get cornerer into a corner by the schools meff, and then put a bin on her head to get away... you might get excludedNever make a bomb in science under the table with a massive jar (4 litres) of hydrocholic acid, and 7 roles of magnesium, you might shatter glass all over the classroom, and stain everyones clothes, and get it in a tidy lasses eye...You:don't drink 6 litres of white ace cider in an eveningdon't take ketamin, EVERdon't see a girl on the side when they're best mates, and live in the same housedon't go up to the top of a pub and shit on the bouncersdon't steal a stand-alone jellybean machine from a pub on a pub crawl, smash it up and steal the moneydon't snort absinthedon't get totally naked and chase after a 30 year old chav whos homophobicdon't funnel a bottle of apple sourz in 1 godon't tell a promo worker you're gay when he got gang-raped by 4 gay guysdon't go joy riding on sailsbury plain (most won't know what that is so - it's a military testing group. and you end up getting chased by a tank)don't hit a steep hump-back bridge at 65mph when there's rivers either sideYour friend don't run over a car when drunk and fall through the windscreen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rich4130 Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 Don't.Drive like a twat on country, roads, which has signs saying closed, when its been raining non-stop for a week, and theres a bridge that always floods round a bend.. makes a f**k off bang Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe_Elding Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 don't go up to the top of a pub and shit on the bouncersahahahahhahahahaha, thats excellant, i shat on someones windscreen whilst i was drunk once and it turned out they were looking at me from the co op window.never: smoke copiuos amounts of weed, or drink copious amounts of absinthe, and then try and climb as high up a tree as you can, fall out, and break both your wrists.wait until its traffic lights and surround a car whilst throwing eggs at it.shoot bb guns at the old peoples home down your road.cut down a tree near your house and lay it across the road so no one can drive past.blow up a lynx can, it WILL blow through the metal bin you threw it in and WILL smash your next door neighbours window.try to scare someone by setting fire to the bush next to them, it WILL set two acres of french national trust land on fire, resulting in A LOT of fire engines, and a fair amount of time 'speaking' to a french policeman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janson Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 you kids are up to some crazy shit..i ran over a car once, when i was out of my face. it's about the worst thing ive ever done i think. i am such a good boy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boon racoon Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 ahahahahhahahahaha, thats excellantsadly i can't take the credit for that one!! but someone else on here CAN...i'll have to make sure he sees it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash-Kennard Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 Never make a bomb in science under the table with a massive jar (4 litres) of hydrocholic acid, and 7 roles of magnesium, you might shatter glass all over the classroom, and stain everyones clothes, and get it in a tidy lasses eye...doing tomorrow in science, i wont use glass though... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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