Just a few probs not up to your high standards but oh well its all abit of fun, I just bought 500 sadam t-shirts, they're a bit tight around the neck nut, but they hang well! Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe? Joe: I won it in a race. Bill: How many people participated in it? Joe: Three, a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me!! I'm not usually one for posting warnings about potential scams but I had a near miss yesterday. I walked into B&Q and some old guy dressed in orange asked me if I wanted decking. Fortunately, I got the first punch in and that was the end of that. Those less suspecting might not be so lucky. Be careful out there! What goes OOOOOOOOOOOOO?? A cow without lips!! What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Can you smell carrotts???? Two fish in a tank... says one to the other, 'You know how to drive this thing?' A fish swims into a wall. It says, 'dam'. What do you call an exploding monkey? A BABOOM!!! How do you make a cat flap?? Throw it off a cliff Why do Koalas carry their babies on their backs... Have you ever tried to push a pram up a gum tree??? What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle ? Use a cowculator ! What game do cows play at parties ? Moosical chairs ! What did one plate say to the other plate ? Dinners on me !! Here- why are you trying to cross the road in this dangerous place? There’s a zebra crossing just a few yards up the road, said the policeman. Well, I hope he’s having better luck than I am, said the pedestrian. Waiter: And how did you find your steak, sir? Customer: Well, I just pushed aside a bean and there it was!