I'm using a HTC Desire HD, which is due to get the ICS 4.0 in late July/August, and really hoping this update sorts it out.
The problem I have isn't opening message threads (I have them capped to 100). It's when you click the send button and your phone displays a loading symbol for 5 seconds and won't do anything else.. not a huge problem I know, but it p*sses me off so much! Sometimes even envy iOS when sending texts
Totally looking into 'powerful control' now, that sounds like a great idea..