I was going to say, that looks like at least 24 peoples christmas present sorted. I reckon you should wrap everything, then write name tags and just randomly assign people with gifts. Hopefully the fake silk knickers will get you somewhere.
I'll be another vote for liking the music. Regardless, what a rider. I've been out of trials for a little while now but I just could stop watching!
One thing that did bother me though was the aspect ratio. Sort it out son haha
I think Emeli Sande could be a good vocalist to sample. Really liking some of her stuff at the mo. (Personally I quite like her vocals in Chipmonks-Diamond Rings and Heaven is another favourite.
Delilah-Go (or the orginal sample Chaka Kahn-Ain't No Body)
Chase and Status seem to like thier Loleatta Holloway
As I've been recently looking at roll cages I wouldn't fully discount option 2 especially if your worried about getting the notching right.
You can download programs in which you type in tube diameters and angles and it will plot a profile for you on paper which you print off, cut out and wrap around the tube. Then get busy with the angle grinder and grind away! No need for a milling machine.
Or you can buy (possibly rent/borrow if you know someone with one) a tube notcher.
But as you say definitely get anti crush tubes (preferably welded) in.