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Teach Me Everything You Know About Driving.


Chicky

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Red light means go. If you hit a pensioner, make sure you finish them off.

Other than that, as I was told 'you need to think about the actions of the 2nd car infront'. Which is sort of good for passing your test...and then you pass and all that you learnt goes out the window.

Edited by anzo
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the pedal on the right is the go pedal

the pedal in the middle is the brake (dont use too much)

the one on the left is the gear changing pedal

Ben

oops my bad, havent been in a car for at least 2 months so thats my excuse

Edited by Man On A Mission
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Mirror signal maneovure

whenever moving off ALWAYS look over your right shoulder as well as your mirrors

Try to take your test in a diesel. When moving off, they are much more forgiving with the clutch eg: I have stalled 8 times in my petrol after practising twice with it. With my instructors diesel i've stalled twice after 13 lessons.

errr if you fail your test, don't get mad at the examiner. Wait until hes out of the car before screaming too

and yeah don't get cocky and try to rush everything. It takes time, but you'll get used to it :P

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At the garage, bunch of chavs the other week...

Bag of shit diesel car - 400 pounds

A few litres of petrol - 10 pounds

Watching a bunch of chavs realise what they've done and shout 'I'll have to drive it home quick!' and start crying - Priceless.

Lesson....make sure you know the pump/your car.

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At the garage, bunch of chavs the other week...

Bag of shit diesel car - 400 pounds

A few litres of petrol - 10 pounds

Watching a bunch of chavs realise what they've done and shout 'I'll have to drive it home quick!' and start crying - Priceless.

Lesson....make sure you know the pump/your car.

send that into mastercard for an advert please!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

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At the garage, bunch of chavs the other week...

Bag of shit diesel car - 400 pounds

A few litres of petrol - 10 pounds

Watching a bunch of chavs realise what they've done and shout 'I'll have to drive it home quick!' and start crying - Priceless.

Lesson....make sure you know the pump/your car.

haha funny as hell!

also im an idiot lol

Ben

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Don't get too close to the car in front. If they brake and you stack into the back of them, it's YOUR fault and YOU pay.

If someone gets far too close to you when you're already speeding, on a single carriageway road, and flashes their headlights and you're in a company car, with a tow-bar... yam those brakes on!

WATCH OUT FOR MOTORCYCLES!! Too many accidents occur because people 'just didn't see him coming'. See him coming.

Also, if you're queueing in traffic, make room for bikes to get past. Don't be a selfish sodfishface and make them queue too.

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WATCH OUT FOR MOTORCYCLES!! Too many accidents occur because people 'just didn't see him coming'. See him coming.

I notice more and more bikes now its getting to summer. And for f**k sake, I live near matlock and as anyone who knows the place, its full of motorcycles on Sundays. Leading into matlock there are signs saying 'Think...motorcycles'.

And yet they still dodge around cars going 100mph+ thinking their f**king bullet proof...

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Get in the front right hand side (unless your from america or somewhere else). Dont drive in the channel tunnel. The french drive on the other side of the road, meaning a head on with a train, at about the halfway point. Dont park on a ruway. Stay on the grey bit in between the two raised bits, preferably over to the left hand side. Dont argue with military hardware. Do not drive blindfolded. Putting a huge map across your windscreen is not going to help you get there. Remeber to stop before you get out.

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ive gotta agree with rich on this one

assume EVERYONE ELSE on the road is useless, retarded, and incompetant! because sadly, almost all of them are....

the standard of driving these days is simply TERRIBLE

people are always trying to drive fast when tehy BLATENTLY dont have the skills....

several times ive followed local chavs home in their saxo vts's and the like

and sure, tehy have been going pretty quickly, but taking all the wrong lines, and being totally on the edge the whole time, whereas ive been following in the mini, not pushed at all, taking the right lines, and hardly even touching the brakes. i sure know which one of us was driving mroe safely......

dont THINK you can drive fast, because until you have PROPER practise, you CANT. you might get away with it for a few months, but ultimately, you will crash, and it will cost you big time.

no matter how fast YOU can go around a bend, you HAVE to always ask yourself what will happen if someone else comes round from the other direction and cuts that same corner, will you still be safe? if the answers no, then your going too fast!

OBSERVATION.

i dont mean the faggoty check your mirrors all the time driving test stuff, but keep an eye open for every single side road, look 5 cars ahead always, always assume the worse will happen, never make a move assuming someone isnt about to do something silly, and know the limitations of your car!

main tip:

dont try to show off. if your good people will know it, if your not and yout ry to be, people will think your a twat. unless of course you kill them, when they wont be thinking at all.....

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Prawns words make sense as per usual.

I'm far from the best driver but I think i'm safe.

Be wary all the time and don't assume what someones going to do "assumption is the mother/brother any other sucker of all f**k-ups"

My Nan always used to say to me when I was learning (re-itterates other peoples point). "All other drivers on the road are idiots".

Don't show off or anything like that with mates/girls. My girlfriend appreciates me driving sensibly so much more than if I was driving like an ass.

Get lots of experiance with sensible people in the car (parents, instructor) they will be able to point things out to you and will stop you from driving badly to start with.

Know your car & stereo, you don't want to be reaching around for the controls while driving it's just dangerous.

If people criticise it's probably for a good reason, don't ignore them.

Be sensible about overtaking, there's a time and a place and if you get it wrong it's possibly the last mistake you will ever make. If in doubt just don't go. It is better to be a bit late than never get where you're going.

People have different ideas about driving and the best way to do it, try and be objective, somethings will be right, some wrong, i'm sure people will disagree with stuff I do or have said here but it's your choice. Use your common sense.

I will continue thinking.

Dan

Edited by dan_brisa
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