Tony Harrison

There are other tests they must perform first.

Every girl I date is forced to watch Sean Burns' part in Anthem II because I want them to understand how bike riders suffer for their achievements. However that's only a few minutes long so it's more manageable.

That one is particularly good imo, shutter not too fast but you got the car sharp.

I meant with a view to learning how to fly and getting a licence, which might not be quite so boring.

Been meaning to have a taster flying session myself...

Yeah wise words - if in a month she suddenly re-appears all chatty then her other thing (if there is one) didn't work out. Again, maintain your dignity and don't let yourself become the fallback option.

That's the thing, if she likes you she'll probably respect you more for not looking too keen. I know how it is - all guys do - when you like someone a lot and you really want to message them, but sometimes you're just mugging yourself off. We've all been there. Even last year I was way too keen with some girl, and in the end you have to just think hang on a sec, am I really doing what's best for me here? I know I sound overly cynical about girls (funny thing is the only reason I'm online right now is because my girl - well, now ex-girl I think, because I'm tired of this shit - just got in a taxi and went home) but the thing is a lot of them are good at exploiting the fact that men really like them. I'd rather be the guy that walks away and finds someone more deserving of my time and attention that be yet another moth bouncing off the lampshade.

My advice, leave it now and see if she gets in touch. Girls can be great at playing guys off and generally being time-wasters - don't be the beta chump that chases. Once you can get the emotion out the way, fact is there are probably 1 million girls on this planet who meet your criteria (unless you're Dan, and then it's about 2 billion) so it's unlikely that your life is over if this one slips through the net. Thinking about her all the time, that's just natures way of tricking you into furthering your species. Ignore it and move on.

You sound both critical and sympathetic to Inspired all in the same breath. Presumably your recommendation here is that Mark should never mention or talk about welding ever again...

I watched The Martian, really good. Not spoiled by having previously read the book either.

It's pretty decent. No fees yet but they'll probably add them in due course. I got the pre-pay Mastercard and tried it out in Spain and it was great, did exactly what it's supposed to.

The game is always rigged. I got a sim card from Vodafone and they junk messaged me about 5 times a day. I send a text to the number to cancel the messages and it said the settings would be changed within 28 days! 28 DAYS! And they're a telecoms company! I can only imagine 28 days is the maximum amount of time they're allowed to take, and of course the messages continued. So I ditched the SIM. Paypal is a c'nt a lot of the time - thankfully new services are starting to emerge - check out Revolut, for example.

Never been to Prague but Budapest is decent, been there a few times.

Maybe, but then again if he'd suspected I was Alison he could've just edged away slowly hoping I wouldn't notice.

Just don't be the fall-back guy who she goes to for comfort when some other guy f'cks her and chucks her. Alison did turn up in the end. I hope for his sake it was a business meeting or something.

Today, in Thailand, I was standing waiting for someone and there was a smartly dressed guy in a shirt also hanging around. Eventually I see him walking towards me and he comes over and says 'Would you by any chance be Alison?'.

Phone them up once a week pestering for a cancellation slot.

Nobody actually goes to lectures in their first year.

Worst bike name since 'Inpulse'.

Well you've got good taste in bikes it seems. Hope you enjoy it. Me and my dad dragged a 197cc Villiers-powered Norman out from behind the shed a few days ago. Sat there in the open for 10 years, not run for 20. Cleaned the oil residue out of the carb (from where the two-stroke mixture had evapourated), went on about the 10th kick, rode it round the field! I think that also is a '57.

Holy f'cking dog shit. Mr Fashion Fag himself buys something that's actually f'cking cool. The BSA A10 is a fantastic bike (and arguably way better than a Bonneville). What year is it? This is funny, because you buying a BSA is one of the few things that could ever unseat the opinion I formed of you when the pics of that Indian bird surfaced...

My choice would be a Honda CG125, like this... http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/honda-CG125-classic-/271978671370 They're cheap to buy, run and insure, and you can learn some basics of bike maintenance. Nice simple bike. A lad on my CBT course had one and it was great. I have to say I am slightly biased for classic bikes (I passed my mod 1 and 2 in the end and have been riding a 1976 Honda CB400F Four) but I do feel you get more for your money.

faggot.

Moist.