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The 'i'm Such A Goon I Just...' Thread


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Ordered 100 condoms under my moms name... Without changing the address and who it's been sent to.

Also bought 2 hunting knives off ebay, still haven't come yet, but to make sure my mom doesn't see them, I've been waking up at 6:30 each morning to see if they have come yet... Early mornings suck.

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my mom was selling her car and someone rang about it and said have you got a car for sale and i thourght they said cow so i said no sorry ring the farm bye and hung up lol

then they rang and i said we dont do cows and mom said beau you nob its car lol.

think they had it in the end well someone did lol

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Forgot to put the toilet seat down before attempting to sit on it. Result, me sat in the toilet.

Didn't think i'd actually fit in a toilet, seems i do...

It's worse when your drunk and fail to realise the lids down and you shit on it =]

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Forgot to put the toilet seat down before attempting to sit on it. Result, me sat in the toilet.

Didn't think i'd actually fit in a toilet, seems i do...

Try sleepwalking an pissing in the kitchen bin instead of the toilet while your mum has guests round :lol:... Well, least i don't remember doing it :D

I'm such a goon i just told my art tutor at uni that i thought art having meanings was bullshit crap thats only come about in recent times and that people in the old days painted landscapes because they were nice, and in unusual styles to be original, not because they had psycological issues and were trying to convey political ideas at the time.... It doesn't go down well, and i seriously did think she was going to hit me :unsure: .

Ah well, tomorrow i can tell them minimalistic art is a practical joke by the artists on the people that buy it :lol:.

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I came in after a night out drinking a few months ago and my entire family were stood around chatting in my kitchen. I went in there to get a glass of water, filled the glass up at the tap and instead of tipping the water into my mouth i just poured it all over my face, haha!

After that I apparently stood in the middle of the kitchen just swaying and I couldn't talk properly :D

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I came in after a night out drinking a few months ago and my entire family were stood around chatting in my kitchen. I went in there to get a glass of water, filled the glass up at the tap and instead of tipping the water into my mouth i just poured it all over my face, haha!

After that I apparently stood in the middle of the kitchen just swaying and I couldn't talk properly :D

Ha ha, new years i walked home from my mates at 3 in the morning after two bottles of bubbly, half a bottle of gin and a shed load of beers. I threw up in the kitchen sink, left it there. Went upstairs, threw up in that sink too, left it there. Then walked into my parents room, walked into the corner of the bed, fell over, twatted my head on the table behind me (cracked the table (Y))shouted "F****** C****!", then when they tried to help me up i told them to "F*** O**! and get out of my room", I then got draged into my own room and promptly threw up on the bed and fell asleep in it.

I have never been that drunk before and never intend to be again :$

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Ha ha, new years i walked home from my mates at 3 in the morning after two bottles of bubbly, half a bottle of gin and a shed load of beers. I threw up in the kitchen sink, left it there. Went upstairs, threw up in that sink too, left it there. Then walked into my parents room, walked into the corner of the bed, fell over, twatted my head on the table behind me (cracked the table (Y) )shouted "F****** C****!", then when they tried to help me up i told them to "F*** O**! and get out of my room", I then got draged into my own room and promptly threw up on the bed and fell asleep in it.

I have never been that drunk before and never intend to be again :$

Hahahaha

thats f**king ace.

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I did a good one. Went to a friend's 21st and we were all staying at different people's houses because there were so many of us. I was sent round to some girl's house (never met her, she hadn't been out drinking I don't think) and was given the living room floor. Fair enough, so, feeling pretty sick after too many beers, I got my sleeping back out and went to sleep.

Next morning I woke up, and could here girl's voices - angry, pissed off girl's voices that I didn't recognise. I went back to sleep, and woke up again to find the place quiet, so I got up. Reaching the kitchen, I found this trail of puke going across the floor, up the cupboards, onto the draining board, over the 'clean' dishes and a little bit in the sink. And then I had a fuzzy flashback of stumbling through the house at some point during the night with sick bursting to get out of my gob... still, at least I got some of it in the sink. Wasn't too popular there, so I mopped up quick and did a runner, and popped back later to stick a new washing up bowl on the doorstep!!

(Still, doesn't really compare to some of the stories in the FHM true stories book I got one year for Xmas... some of them were wrong!!)

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Friday night did the usual but personified, had a few bottles of wines, carling and some brandy, nearly pulled a homeless bird hahahahaha

sooo sooo lucky my brother and ricky found me when he did, much love

My housemate told us all a story the other week about his mates from back home (he lives in Newquay). Anyway his mates were walking home and were bored, ended up talking to a tramp and then went twos up on her!! sick or what.

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My housemate told us all a story the other week about his mates from back home (he lives in Newquay). Anyway his mates were walking home and were bored, ended up talking to a tramp and then went twos up on her!! sick or what.

ROFL!!!

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