Thoughts on Self Harm.

[Unknown Account]

I was thinking about posting something similar to this thread the other day, then ballsed out.

I want to know your thoughts and pinions on self harm. That's all. Please discuss.

I don't really care if you hunt this account down and find out who it really is, I just didn't want people thinking different of me.

Edited March 12, 2013 by Unknown Account

[JT!]

Hi Dave.

Self harm is a bad thing.

If you feel like you will self harm or worse, go to a doctor. Pills can drastically reduce unwanted feelings like depression and anxiety.

[dann2707]

Are you thinking of doing it / have you done it before?

[Skoze]

I'd like to hear the motivation to it.

Personally think it's pretty daft/ selfish, but then again i guess it's quite easy to go "just ask for some help" when you're thinking rationally...

Maybe it's all part of growing up when it was in fashion to do it, to me it's just a bit of a "well, that's f**king stupid" topic if it's a simple yes/no. I'm all ears though!

[isitafox]

I've a few friends who did it a while back, male and female. The male was/is basically completely tapped in the mind so that's a no go area, the female though was getting depressed and feeling she needed to punish herself for various reasons and this seemed the most apt.

Kind of like a forebearer to commiting suicide as she felt she deserved to die but wasn't quite at that level.

If you're doing/going to do it for any reason I'd really try and speak to someone about it, preferably a doctor you're familiar with or an older friend/family member who's pretty level headed and not just gonna say "just stop/don't do it because it's a silly thing to do".

If you're doing it because it's something all your friends are doing though then yes I basically would say your a tool.

Disclaimer* I am completely useless at giving out advice so by all means if what I've written looks like complete bollocks then I wouldn't be surprised.

[Danny00135]

It's a pretty odd topic, but there is a reason people do it, it releases endorphins giving them the feeling of relief.

yes it's daft, but it isn't selfish,

I don't self harm, but I can relate to the feeling..
I have (although pretty mild) OCD, and It's horrible, I've had sleepless nights because I didn't touch the lightswitch in the kitchen with my left hand after touching it with my right.

The relief I get from that is the same people self harm get from it. My ex used to self harm, she didn't like doing it, and hated what people thought of her when they saw the scars.

[george_seamons]

Hi Dave.

...its not Dave.

Nobody will know who this is other than moderators/admin.

[Danny00135]

I'd like to hear the motivation to it.

The majority of the time it's inflicting of physical pain as the cessation of emotional pain, although there are the odd bunch that do it to be "emo" and to fit in in their groups of friends..

[trialsiain]

The Justin Beiber self harming thing was just pathetic..

[Unknown Account]

Are you thinking of doing it / have you done it before?

Yes.

Hi Dave.

Self harm is a bad thing.

If you feel like you will self harm or worse, go to a doctor. Pills can drastically reduce unwanted feelings like depression and anxiety.

Its one thing talking to someone about it, but a doctor. I know that it could help, but it scares me.

I'd like to hear the motivation to it.

Personally think it's pretty daft/ selfish, but then again i guess it's quite easy to go "just ask for some help" when you're thinking rationally...

Maybe it's all part of growing up when it was in fashion to do it, to me it's just a bit of a "well, that's f**king stupid" topic if it's a simple yes/no. I'm all ears though!

I agree with the fact that it is selfish, and daft, but it really isn't that easy, I wish it was.

I've a few friends who did it a while back, male and female. The male was/is basically completely tapped in the mind so that's a no go area, the female though was getting depressed and feeling she needed to punish herself for various reasons and this seemed the most apt.

Kind of like a forebearer to commiting suicide as she felt she deserved to die but wasn't quite at that level.

If you're doing/going to do it for any reason I'd really try and speak to someone about it, preferably a doctor you're familiar with or an older friend/family member who's pretty level headed and not just gonna say "just stop/don't do it because it's a silly thing to do".

If you're doing it because it's something all your friends are doing though then yes I basically would say your a tool.

Disclaimer* I am completely useless at giving out advice so by all means if what I've written looks like complete bollocks then I wouldn't be surprised.

I know of no other person doing it, and again, I would like to speak to someone about it, but yeah, its just hard.

It's a pretty odd topic, but there is a reason people do it, it releases endorphins giving them the feeling of relief.

yes it's daft, but it isn't selfish,

I don't self harm, but I can relate to the feeling..

I have (although pretty mild) OCD, and It's horrible, I've had sleepless nights because I didn't touch the lightswitch in the kitchen with my left hand after touching it with my right.

The relief I get from that is the same people self harm get from it. My ex used to self harm, she didn't like doing it, and hated what people thought of her when they saw the scars.

...its not Dave.

Nobody will know who this is other than moderators/admin.

I would appreciate it if you and other mods wouldn't say anything. Thank you.

The majority of the time it's inflicting of physical pain as the cessation of emotional pain, although there are the odd bunch that do it to be "emo" and to fit in in their groups of friends..

I wouldn't do it just to fit in, that's pretty pathetic.

[Skoze]

The majority of the time it's inflicting of physical pain as the cessation of emotional pain, although there are the odd bunch that do it to be "emo" and to fit in in their groups of friends..

I'm aware that's a general reason for it, i just mean in this case - there's a multitude of reasons behind it and if we know the one at play here, then we're one step closer to helping one of our mates out

Been there and done that when it comes to handling all manner of emotional issues with myself and friends of mine, so yeah - wanna talk, you know where i'm at.

[JT!]

Scares you in what sense?

[george_seamons]

Nobody will say anything, don't worry Glad that you can use this as a voice.

[isitafox]

To be fair knowing that us mods would be able to identify you and still making the topic is a bit of a first step!

[Unknown Account]

Scares you in what sense?

Every sense ever possible. Who they would tell, how they would react, what would happen, how I would tell, etc etc.

Nobody will say anything, don't worry Glad that you can use this as a voice.

.

To be fair knowing that us mods would be able to identify you and still making the topic is a bit of a first step!

I didn't know how much access you would have to be honest. But, I guess it feels good that others know, even if they don't know me.

No more posts from me tonight either i'm afraid.

Edited March 12, 2013 by Unknown Account

[JT!]

Every sense ever possible. Who they would tell, how they would react, what would happen, how I would tell, etc etc.

.

Well legally they can't tell anyone, and they probably won't react, they'll have dealt with thing like this hundreds of times if not more. What would happen? You'd see a psychologist and you'd talk about every aspect of your life and chances are they'd use medication and therapy to get rid of the feelings that make you feel like you want to self harm. But I don't really see it as something to be ashamed about, or at least any more ashamed of doing to see a doctor because you've broken your leg riding your bike. The more you see a physical problem and a mental problem as the same thing the better, because essentially they are.

[Danny00135]

Every sense ever possible. Who they would tell, how they would react, what would happen, how I would tell, etc etc.

If people judge you for what you do/what you've done then they're the ones with the problem. When you've hidden something for a while and need to tell someone it feels like a massive weight, Especially when It's face to face.

But legally they can't tell anyone due to doctor-patient confidentiality.

Talking does help with stuff like this

[Blake]

This is a very strange topic.

I have never self harmed severly enough to draw blood. Although I have tried, it's too scary cutting that deep.

It kind of makes you feel better, but it's pretty shitty and makes you feel worse in the long run. I tend to deal with anger different ways (unfortunately being a dick to my friends/girlfriend is one of them), but I have sat with my knife against my arm more times than I probably should have.

In the end it isn't worth it, involving other people like doctors just stresses you out i'd say. Maybe get a loved one or best friend to take care of you and help you overcome your depression.

Instead of cutting yourself, write a song about how you feel. Then you've made a song and it gives you something to focus on, making you feel better. That's how I deal with it anyway.

[LiamWood!]

Doesn't matter if you don't want to say but, how old are you?

Also I've never self harmed, or had thoughts too.

But a friend from work hung himself on Saturday night, left 3 kids behind. No one knows why either.

I think it's selfish and there is always another way out. It just takes work and support from family/friends etc.

Talk to someone. I'm sure it will help.

[Max Quinn]

Ban for multiple accounts.

But on a serious note, people I know who've had depression have got over it by finding that one thing that they really enjoy and feel they're good at, and putting everything into it. Exceling in something helps bring back self worth and you only excel through hard work. The ammount of illustrators for example who've been through stuff like that is unreal and, as daft and irrelevant as it sounds, they're better illustrators for it. Same goes for some of the most prolific graffiti writers about. It boils down to what Danny was saying about releasing those endorphins and what does that is different for everyone. You need something you can really concentrate on and put everything into.

At the end of the day though, you just need the understanding that everything get's better eventually. I assume you're young and growing up's hard for everyone. It's easy to feel alone but pretty much every adult will tell you they had some sort of insecurity when they were young (and still do to an extent), it's just that many people hide it very well.

At some point in life, you realise everyone is dealing with very similair internal things as you, learn to spot it in even the most confident, seemingly 'sorted out', people and that makes things much easier somehow. You care less what people think of you when you realise that even the c**ts that may take the piss are like that to make them feel better about their own shit.

What do I think about self harm? In short, I think there's much better ways round the problem.

Edited March 13, 2013 by Max Quinn

[Sprog!]

average of 400 per 100,000 population in the U.K harm themselves.

I would say the majority of it is down to... attention and alike. I think that the kids/young people causing self harm is mostly because of wanting attention. On a serious note: attempting/thinking or committing suicide is a very serious matter. I understand that you would not want to speak to someone about it. You'd feel ashamed of doing it.

Life is too precious to be doing things like this. You look at the kids in Africa, India, etc. Living on the streets, getting beaten, raped, etc. They don't self harm because they are smart enough to realize that life is to precious to be wasting.

I also believe there are two ways to look at it: Self harm (cutting) and wanting to end your life (hanging/overdose) I don't understand the whole self harming thing properly but the suicide is understandable for those who attempt it. If you are thinking about suicide the best thing as stupid and as hard as it may be, is to talk to someone about it. Anyone! Or start being closer to someone who you know cares, family, close friends etc. It would really help you. I am more than willing to talk to you (privately and confidentially) about it. Pm me if you like.

At the end of the day there is ALWAYS no matter what your situation is. Someone that cares for you. You need to think of the pain that they would go through if they were to know.

Take care of yourself! And always smile and laugh when you want to, don't hold it in. Sprog

Edited March 13, 2013 by Sprog!

[Ali C]

The thing with depression is that there is often no reason that you feel sad. This then makes you more sad as you feel guilty for feeling the way you do with no reason, throwing the "other people have it worse" card is often the worst thing that can be done as that makes the guilt even stronger. self harming isn't always an attention thing, people often feel so guilty for feeling the way they do that they believe they should be punished and self harming is one way they can punish themselves.

I suffered with Manic depression throughout my teens and at a couple of points I self harmed, (nothing too serious mind, I tended to burn myself instead of cut). I always kept it secret so not even my parents knew, so it wasn't an attention thing. That's not to say that some people don't do it for attention, it's easy to get angry at these people but sometimes it's their way of crying out if they can't face talking to someone about it.

This blog post is a great description of how depression can suddenly come on for no reason and how the self hate can come on. But as it also shows it can disappear as quickly as it came on (as it did with me), so no matter how bad things seem there will be a point where you are happy again.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html

[Revolver]

It's worth noting that a lot of things that go on in your mind and body are just chemicals. The brain, and indeed the rest of the body is just a bag of chemicals.

You feel depressed because you are missing some chemical/s in your brain and body that cause happiness, for whatever reason.

It's also worth noting that thoughts that appear in your head are of little value. Your brain continues to fire neurons off regardless, and sometimes this results in thoughts. You don't need to pay attention to them. It might be hard to get a sense of this because thoughts seem so familiar but it's genuinely just your brain doing its thing.

Another thing I'd mention is the way that memory is formed. Your brain is a massive web of connections - one thing leads to another. Connections get stronger the more they are used - hence the way practice works. Thus, the more you listen to depressive thoughts, the more of a habit this becomes. Perhaps you also associate self harm and contemplating suicide with some kind of feeling of relief. I'm sure you know there are better ways to achieve relief.

My advice is this:

- If there's some external cause, e.g another person or situation that makes you feel miserable, avoid them, avoid it. Get away from whatever causes you that stress.

- Get out and do something physical, and something fun. Something you need to concentrate at - this part is key. Getting active will prod your body into producing endorphins which will make you feel better, but this will work a lot better if you can let go of your negative thoughts and be fully absorbed in it. This is what's known as samadhi in Buddhism, where you absorb yourself so much that you become unaware of anything else other than what you're doing. In this state of mind there won't be any negative thoughts to limit the endorphin rush of the activity.

- Learn to understand thoughts in your head are a product of your brain ticking over, so to speak, and don't have any foundation in real life. They don't need any attention. Thinking negatively has become a habit - try to break this habit by noticing negative thoughts, catching them in progress and stopping them with a firm 'no'. You might want to replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts - whatever the negative thought was, think the positive opposite. Eventually thinking positively will become a habit. It's great to do things and achieve things, and use these achievements as an arsenal of positive thoughts.

- It might be worth practising meditation. Sitting down with a good, straight back and breathing deeply from your abdomen/diaphragm, try to concentrate on your breathing. The sound, or the feeling of your stomach moving, or the breath on your nostrils as you breathe out. You could count each breath up to 10 and then start again. Concentrate on this and deflect all thoughts. If you notice yourself thinking, stop and go back to the breathing. If your attention wanders, start counting your breaths from 1 again. This is good practice for what I mentioned in the previous point.

I don't know who you really are so I don't know how much, if any, of this you know. Above all, remember this - a time will come when you're free of negativity and you can enjoy life. You can do it, you are doing it. Work towards this.

Edited March 13, 2013 by Revolver

[Hannah Shucksmith]

Doctor's legally can't tell your family or friends or next of kin etc, and it's the only way you can really get any help; they are always first port of call, and often advise to to take prescribed anti depressants etc to lessen the intensity of your thoughts. There are different avenues that your doctor should go down in order to get you 'help' - usually just a referral to a Community Mental Health Team. If you tell a doctor that you have a plan (i.e. a time and date and place) to take your own life then they should contact a Crisis team who will come out to you immediately or at least within 24hrs.

There are ways to get through and past self harm. I always found distraction helped me, and being with other people. Also, planning my day to be as full as possible so there was no available opportunity in which to self harm.

The reason for self harm is different for everyone - punishment, emotional release, the list is huge. The point is that you need to discover why you want to / do self harm in order to over come it.

With self harm comes immediate 'satisfaction' but years down the line you'll regret the end result.

Talk to someone. x

[eskimo]

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html

That was pretty cool post. I can relate to that. Depression is stupid, and how you suddenly wake up is odd.

I think there are different types of depression. Everything that i've felt is common, and always illogical. But when i was a kid, i remember i was sat on a wall waiting for a lift and i think the lift was a long time away or wasn't coming at all (can't remember). But my friends Mum offered me a lift but i refused cause i was enjoying freezing in the cold. I remember it being bitterly cold.

Which is another point, depression becomes enjoyable, again not logical. But maybe it's the mind leveling itself out, and keeping itself depressed by it being a preferred feeling helps it until the balance is set.

I do think it's all natural and shouldn't be labeled. Just like allot of "disabilities", they all have names which i don't think helps. People with OCD, "learning difficulties", ADHD etc. I know when i walk over lines, spin my lighter, flick the wheel out on the bike etc, it has to be done equally opposite. It doesn't make a difference if i'm not paying attention to it, but i know these days i can mostly ignore it and it's fine. When i was a kid it was real annoying and i didn't know what the hell it was. But i got on with it and it was fine as i learnt on my own to say "no" to myself. If someone had found out and told me it had a name and that i had something/ suffered from something, that would of probably been worse.

I do think allot of mental issues/ problems come from too much time alone. There's allot of evidence for it too, but whatever. If you HAVE todo something (like work), then you ain't going to be thinking about random stuff, because you physically can't. While this doesn't apply to another type of depression when it's not a mindset, but you're actually sad about love, death etc, then i think it can be ignored without even trying.

I also think harming yourself could just be a call for help/ attention subconsciously beyond your control. When thoughts about suicide had crossed my mind, they'd only ever been about suicide and the effects they'd have, not actually about committing suicide. There's a definite difference, that's why i'm happy to mention it. I also think people calling this selfish is bullshit. It's just as selfish to have yourself live for others to not be sad. Because there's more of them than you, does it make it right/ fair? Your life, your choice, essentially.

I also slowly discovered in the past few years there's allot in life to be had in the way of interests and hobbies, IF you can find them. While i never stood away from riding for over 10 years, my recent time off was the first i've properly had. No XC, nothing. And it was amazing! If i had told myself about that experience some years ago, i would of been like wtf i don't believe you. Go find some more hobbies and interests, i'm actually overwhelmed right now with interests. What i'm saying is, don't become obsessed with something. There was a discussion on this recently on a game forum. The guy said once he broke free of competitive gaming he was no longer stressed and anxious. That he was more friendlier around friends and family.

If you're young, like under 21, being depressed is normal and shouldn't be worried about. to be honest i think if you're rational enough to be depressed but able to type up something you ain't that bad and will probably randomly wake up out of it and be like "wtf was i thinking". No doubt if you read this you WILL disagree, but then when you wake up you'll realise. From my experience and allot of others, i guess you just gotta wait. I wish i had kept what i wrote up when i was younger, just for curiosity.

Exercise, fruit & vegge (no sugar), daily routines of actually doing stuff (no PC), 7 hours sleep, not being alone, and a hobby will set you straight if you can achieve them.

I'm gonna contradict myself and say that i think it's just all natural sadness and not really depression. For some it may be more prominent than others. But depression should be left for those who really are messed up from loosing something big in their life and are at a dead end financially and no friends and possessions as well. The word depression is also now such a word that it's frowned upon just because of what's associated with it. If we were to suddenly rename it, and call people with it something else then i'm sure it would have a different feeling.

But yeah, whatever.

Oh and also about talking to someone. I know the biggest challenge would be the talking bit, and it doesn't matter who it was. So i would try to find someone to listen, but find something to say, even just a little as the rest should follow. Maybe even try and write it down and give it to someone if you can.