MrSuave

1) a duck walks into a pub and orders a beer and a sandwich. the barman is stunned by this talking duck and ask's him what he's doing around these parts. the duck replies ''im working on the building site across the road'' barman '' well i tell you what mate, you should go and see the guys at circus, i bet you'd make a mint'' duck ''why, do they need a plasterer?'' 2) what did the jewish pheadophile say to the little girl? are going to eat all those sweets? 3) 2 nuns going down the motorway when all of a sudden a bolt of lightning hits the car bonnet and the devil appears. 1st nun says to the 2nd ''what shall we do? what shall we do?'' 2nd nun says '' show him your cross'' 1st nun '' GET OFF THE f**kING BONNET'' 4) what was the last thing hitler said to his men before they got in there tanks? ''men get in your tanks''

think about it like this - Drugs are massively, hugely wide spread in every country, in every town. WHY? ...........is it because people like to waste hard earned money? is it because they are are 'scumbags'? or it is because theres something in it? something that people enjoy? Drugs are wide spread for a reason. they can elevate you to somewhere else, chill you out, relax you, eleviate pain or give you that confidence, a high, a dance like nobodys watching attitude. Im not wholly condoning them, they can utterlly ruin a persons life but they have there place in society that is now so huge it can never ever be eradicated and is here to stay. Heroin is a nasty, filthy drug and should be stamped out it. it has increased crime in the uk and drains peoples souls it is also one of the biggest spreaders of HIV in the modern world. Cocaine, Ecstacy, cannabis, speed, GHB, LSD etc i belive should be legalised. You would immediatelly relive drug dealers and anyone else concerned of their duties, all substances would be produced in controlled circumstances by trusted pharmacutical firms meaning no chance of bad batches, coke being cut up with baking soda, 1 pill killing people etc, the goverment could tax them meaning increased revenue for the NHS ,education system, lower priced fuel and cigarettes and within 10 years it would be as wholy accepted as the biggest killing, wide spread drug of them all - Alcahol Thats my thoughts anyway .........

nice one clem-age! looks spot on, good job. my shoulders better now so ill be out this weekend

dont get me wrong, im not a chutney ferret but by god i would absolutely smash ohler up the arse. my favourite rider by miles and as trialsguru said, hes a top guy too which makes me want to shaft him even more.......oooooooooooooooooooooooooh crisp packet sheet inducingly good riding. yes yes YESSSS!!!!

I found that general bike handling skills were definately imroved by doing biketrials although i took up moto trials after 7yrs of biketrials and simply couldn't get on with it, for starters i kept pulling the bloody clutch in as a natural reaction thinking it was the back brake! i had a go for a year and had alot of fun but in the end, biketrials it was for me. Best of luck mate...

I am currently in my 3rd week off the bike with torn shoulder ligaments and am frustrated beyonf belief at not being able to ride, however it has allowed me to set-up a valeting company as a sideline to my existing job so its not all bad! Apart from that i have been in the battle cruiser rather alot, chasing ladyfolk and dancing like a parkinsons victim on LSD............also found a strange loving for pizza hut and ginger beer but bottom line is, being injured is toshwank.

chitty chitty motherf**kin' bang bang. pow! Aint no one gonna catch me in that, its truly scrumptious and dick van dyke will f**k you up!

..."what is needed to become a real star is an extra element that God can give you or not. You are already born with it. You cant learn it. God kissed the face of Audrey Hepburn and there she was".... The most beautiful person there ever has been or will be.

I bet u bunnyhopped that didn't you hmmm? hmmm? hmmm? donkey spaffing large though, shi pants im going to get left behind soon if my b*****d shoulder doesn't fix up n look sharp

had this exact problem wih my echo control, running 'burns and square taper BB, stripped it down, degreased all threads and tapers, cleaned thouroughly and then applied nice bit of copper slip grease to all threads and tapers then tightened up crank bolts nicly..... no more creaking for 2months

butter my arse and call me a biscuit that was spangly, gutted my shoulder is fooked or id have been there showing you all how not to do it PS- barnes if your reading this, can you come round and clean my shoes. Ta

i asked the man in the koxx shop at koxx days what the difference between each colour of koxx pad and he smiled and replied ''..just ze coulour..'' that was it, according to him they are all the same! but then he was french and had a silly beard... . Personally i had koxx browns when they first came out and thought they were pretty good and lasted damn well ages too. bought a set of koxx yellows at koxx days which are also very hard compund and they weren't so bad either, however i did a fairly-scientific test on my bike recently, i set the rear brake up absolutely perfectly, no toe in , no funny angles, pads hitting the rim absolutely in unison and the TPA only 1/4 in with a fresh bleed and a new grind on an Onza rear rim and tried 3 moves on the same wall all with 3 different sets of pads the results were as follows; Koxx yellows - good but minor slippage under extreme pressure Plazmatics CRM- not as good, would slip under fair pressure and felt too soft Heatsink reds w/CNC backing- superb, the tiniest hint of slip under the heaviest of loads but, just to confuse you all even more, Vincent Hermance uses plazmatics

shitcuntbuggerf**kbumtwattitsarse....... Being the nice guy i am, i played in a charity rugby tournament on good friday. i lasted 7 minutes before i tackled some fat heffer and on hitting the floor, twisted my shoulder and have managed to tear 2 muscles and a sneaky bit of cartilage. This means i can't ride for around 3 weeks, which in turn means i cant ride on this gathering but instead of getting all gloomy about it ive decided to come along anyway, do some filming and get drunk so while your all hopping, ill be supping and making lewd gestures as passing lady folk. I am also going to dedicate myself as Mr.toolman for the day so if you break stuff ill try fix it for you cos im nice like that Sooooo, ill still be seeing you all there, ill be the drunken cripple with the heavy backpack toodaloo MrSuave

unless im going away on holiday it lives in the garage unlocked but then if they broke into my garage the last thing there going to nick is a silly looking bicycle with one gear and no seat. i reckon the Ducati or the CRF250 will go first........

Looks smashing chap but ......Lathes? CNC? how about big ass hilti drill and a vice .......... EDIT; ok , wheres the damn picture i uploaded its saying something about not enough 'global space' what the hell is that all aboot?!

Shit bugger bum..... Im playing in charity rugby 7's tournament on friday FFUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whos doin what riding wise over the weekend or monday??

Ahhhhh but what will you be riding? will it be; A)- a minky black s'megamo which doesn't go 'boing' - your nan's foldable shopper complete with frosties reflectors and a basket OR C)- A BAD ASS MO'FO SHINY SHINY NEW SPANGLY LAMB SHANK ASHTON JUSTICE ? please say its the latter, then well have no excuses about being pants at sidehops I Thankyou! WOOT!!!!!!!!

you should have gone to spec savers wheelbase - 1075 compared to 1110 ....

Oil me up and spaff on my boat race. ill be there fo' sure. jam sponge dodgy pants for the win

call direct bearings and transmissions in pysons road, broadstairs, kent. they have about 16 different threadlocks, one is for locking pulley wheel bolts on tractors or something, reckon that'll work. cheap too

right then. another hope mono it is then! as has been stated, it works extremly well (when it doesn't leak ) so i guess its a case of if it aint broke, dont fix it or in this case, if it's bent, replace it with the same one because there really good and shiny Cheers for all the input chap's

f**k me, that was nasty, cant belive you walked away! glad your unhurt theres a lesson here kiddies..... WEAR A HELMET!

hello one and all...... Been out today and managed to whack my disc on a rock and bent it rather substantialy, i think i may be able to bend it back but i want to get a shiny new replacment regardless. Sooooo, what's availiable? Its a front hope mono trial 180mm. i was thinking of a leeson one? but welcome your suggestions. Cheers guys.

You mean craig skembry? god knows, i dont have his number. Spode coming is he? as long as he doesn't go all weird and start shouting at bollards and stuff thatll be cool........ Gutted i couldnt come to folkstone today. sucks arse!!! maybe sunday eh? Peace out beeehatch

did this one at koxx days, no need for stiches but hurt like fook. Ask john shrewsbury, fred and pete who were happily laughing away while im hopiing round the french forest shouting profanitys at the top of voice........... bastards.