Bums, Vagrants, Panhandlers, Vagabonds, Guttersnipes ...

[anzo]

We had this guy; Xylophone Man.

Although he wasn't exactly homeless.

[Revolver]

I do like the guys who hit you up for cash and then feed you this giant story about how their kids are starving and their car ran out of gas on the way to the hospital to see their grandmother, who, by the way, is very ill, and their wife lost all 3 of her jobs and pigs are flying and whatnot. They crack me up.

We have this guy, I've only seen him twice. He's not in the city centre. Anyway, his story is his wife is in labour in Derby hospital, his parents-in-law won't send him some money, and his car is out of petrol, and he needs some money to get the bus to see his child be born.

Well, I believe he offered to sell us his car and his mobile before, in a roundabout way, but its still not genuine.

Hehe, the first time he was wearing a proper jazzy outfit like you might see in 80's ghetto america. He is black though, so he pulls it off, kinda.

We had this guy; Xylophone Man.

Although he wasn't exactly homeless.

I thought you lived in Derby?

[anzo]

I thought you lived in Derby?

I do, but I'm on the Nottingham/Derby border. I'm actually closer to Nottingham City Centre

and his car is out of petrol, and he needs some money

I had that situation in near Cardiff in a service station - some f**king do-what-you-likey.

'Mate, I've got my kids in the car, gimmie your mobile number and text me your address I'll send it sraight back'

'Can I borrow your phone?'

'...who are you calling?'

'...John'

I ended up giving him a fag to shut him up and then he walked off and started to annoy some old guy. Technically I should have called the police, but nevermind.

[mr ailsbury]

Just don't make eye contact and ignore them, keep walking if they talk to you. Works with Tramps, mormons, oxfam people, jehovas witnesses, the lot.

[monkeyseemonkeydo]

jehovas witnesses

That's a whole different ballgame though... To hell with ignoring them if they come round my house they'll get told in no uncertain terms to get the f**k away from my house. I got a leaflet through the door from them the other day telling me how they're going to deal with the end of the world (which is imminent apparently). Shame I missed them really.

I also got a leaflet through the other day from a Scientology church which is opening in Bournemouth apparently. Never before have I wanted to commit arson quite so much...

[eskimo]

Talking about the nicer ones.. Good few years back i was walking through town and there was a bum. Weird as it's a mega small town, never seen him before. Can't remember the whole conversation but he wanted me to roll a one skin joint joint for him with this tiny blim. Actually i think i remember him stinking of alcohol, but that wouldn't be surprising. Anyhow i sorted him out and he was real appreciated about it and offering me this tiny blim he had left. But i declined for obvious reasons. It's weird that, i'm guessing he was genuine.

As for the others i just ignore them now. I've learnt whatever you give them they're f**king appreciative about it. Due to seeing some baccy and they ask for that too. It's also fairly often you get someone ask for a roll up in the street as soon as they see you smoking. Even when they offer to buy for a pound i decline but they're all pretty much assholes.

[Si-man]

Best one was when some bird asked Jay for 20p for the phone box, he said "sorry love, only got £20" and walked off. She wasn't too pleased.

I used to get the big issue off one guy.

The worst ones are the pikey women who stick a flower in your hand, you say cheers and start to walk off, then they ask for £2 for it LOL. Have that back love.

We also get the "im stuck in Blackpool and ive lost my return ticket to manchester, can you spare £5 so I can get back?" f**k right off!!

Then theres the people who try and sell you a joke book for a quid who are up to their eyeballs on everything!

Edited June 25, 2009 by Si-man

[weirdoku]

I've been asked by some people for 40p around the train station in Southampton. They all asked for 40p, no more no less. Where does 40p get you?

[Max Quinn]

The worst ones are the pikey women who stick a flower in your hand, you say cheers and start to walk off, then they ask for £2 for it LOL. Have that back love.

I was in Trafalger Square with this bird an when this guy handed her a rose she was too dim to realise an took it an said thanks. So the guy goes 'that's £10 from your man then' an i told him to f**k off in slighttly nicer words so he got all stressy an we had an argument. Ended up with the girl wanting me to back down so I just let her pay for it If you try an jus give them back they're all like 'no I can't sell that now'. They're all dirty shitty dying roses anyway haha.

[tomturd]

I've been asked by some people for 40p around the train station in Southampton. They all asked for 40p, no more no less. Where does 40p get you?

It used to be 40p round here. Now its 80p - posh eh?

I just say 'nah sorry mate', generally does the trick.

[anzo]

Where does 40p get you?

Eventually it gets you off your head on smack.

[Hannah Shucksmith]

I give them some change if I've got some on me, normally it's only like 50p or something, but they're dead appreciative. I was walking home from school once and saw a tramp, remembered I'd got my entire lunch left over, so I gave this man a fat arse Ginsters pasty, a bag of crisps, a cookie, a yoghurt, an apple and a capri sun. His smile was priceless.

Was dropping Danny at Winchester train station a few months back and about 10 minutes previously there was an arguement between my mum and I over money, we got out the car and this bum approached me. He asked "'Scuse me love, got any spare change?" I was dead pissed off and turned round and shouted "NO you' f**kING TWAT, IF ANYTHING, YOU'VE GOT MORE f**kING MONEY THAN I HAVE!" He looked at me and just said "A'right sugar, keep your hair on..."

Edit: Remembered a Big Issue situation:

Lady selling Big Issue - "BIG ISSUE, BIG ISSUE."

Danny's uncle - "f**k sake, 'ere, will 50 f**king quid buy them all so you'll leave us all in peace?"

Lady selling Big Issue - "Erm, yes..."

*Danny's uncle gives the woman 50 quid, takes all the Big Issues and bins them infront of her.*

Danny's uncle - "Good, you've got your money so f**k off."

Edited June 26, 2009 by Hannah Shucksmith

[JonMack]

Wow, he sounds like a cunt.

People complain when homeless people beg for money, so when they get a job selling the Big Issue to try and get money in a more civilised manner people still complain. Not all homeless people are alcoholic smack heads, so it's a bit unfair to tar them all with the same brush. Doing something like that just shows complete and utter ignorance, let me guess, he also thinks being gay is "wrong" and all the "foreigners" or "immigrants" should "fuck off back to where they came from", even if they're legally allowed to be in this country?

I was in Bristol the other day and some dude who was obviously needed money for drugs started asking me and my friends for money, but while he was asking us he was juggling 3 balls, I asked if he could do four so he got another out and started trying, he wasn't a fanny to me, so I wasn't a fanny to him, and I gave him about 50p and he left us alone. Yeah he was a bit of a dick, but at least he chatted to us and tried to entertain us, so I felt the least I could do was show him some respect, as he had done to me.

EDIT: Just had a thought, if you actually took the time to read the Big Issue, you'd realise there are actually some quite good articles in there. Also great work on throwing them in the bin, I'm no green freak but I still believe in the concept of recycling.

Edited June 26, 2009 by JonMack

[Hannah Shucksmith]

let me guess, he also thinks being gay is "wrong" and all the "foreigners" or "immigrants" should "fuck off back to where they came from", even if they're legally allowed to be in this country?

Nope, nothing like that, was more the fact that he was sat having a coffee and she was stood no more than a metre from him, shouting "Big Issue" at the top of her lungs.

[JonMack]

Nope, nothing like that, was more the fact that he was sat having a coffee and she was stood no more than a metre from him, shouting "Big Issue" at the top of her lungs.

I understand that that might come across as annoying, but how do you propose she promotes and sells them? Tries to whisper it in peoples ears?

[Haz]

It's the ones that say "Excuse me mate, can you come over here?" that get to me.

A good trick I have found is just to stop whatever you are doing and jsut stare, with a blank expression.

[Little Yoshi]

I understand that that might come across as annoying, but how do you propose she promotes and sells them? Tries to whisper it in peoples ears?

I would love to see that.

[weirdoku]

Can someone summarise macks essay please...?

Again! On the way to work today I was asked if I could spare 40p, wasn't near a train station this time though.

[Rich J]

I'm pretty soft when it comes to giving out change. Generally if people are nice I am pretty nice back. I buy the big issue and it is actually pretty good read compared to other magazines full of crap.

There have been times where people do get pretty annoying like a woman asking for people for the BI they bought back a few hours later so she could resell them, fair enough if they are going to waste but when people aren't actually throwing them away and she gets aggressive thats a bit wrong.

I also met a homeless guy who told me his dog was addicted to heroin thats why he needed his money for his dogs rehab, I knew it was toss but made me laugh.

Its the whole if it was you situation too, and not all homeless people are homeless because of drugs or alcohol either.