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Oh Davey Davey, what do girls prefer when it comes to the jungle below?

I can't stand leaving it to grow out of hand. In your infinite wisdom, you must know what a girl prefers in that region.

(Edit: forgot the 'oh' :$ )

Sorry chaps I've been away a few days, blimey quite a lot of catching up to do, so lets begin!

Ok, Scopse, thing about pubic hair is it's quite thick, and trouble with shaving any of it is it grows back very quickly and when you're going at it with a lady friend having stubble in that area is not going to be sexy for her, imagine rubbing sandpaper on your "big end", not nice, well that's how it will feel for her because she is very sensitive down there! If you were planing on having it all off as Jon suggests you'd literally have to shave it daily if not twice a day to keep it smooth, same as your face!

However, I personally don't like having a massive jungle down there, so my advice, avoid shaving back to the skin as that causes stubble, but definitely a bit of topiary (sp) is fine, trim it back so it's nice and tidy!

There are some obvious advantages to this, first one everyone always says is it makes it look bigger because it's not hiding behind a mound of hair, but also if it looks tidier it also look cleaner and your lady friend is more likely to be up for getting up close and personal with it!

So there you go, don't shave, but trim!!!

Davey

Edited by Davey
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Oh Davey Davey,

I seem to be in a bit of a dilema, I spose i had best start with the back story so you have the whole picture. Back in november I was seeing who i thought was an awesome lass, who cheated on me. Now we called it of but a couple months later we were back together, although really was a bad time, she had just met a guy and was getting on well. After seeing her a few times, we decided to try again... Did work either, and kinda ended on a bit of a sour note, the one they call trust. I pretended to never have a problem with her seeing this guy as a fried, but she always had a problem(and made a point of telling me) when i saw a friend of 10 years! Now we have just started talking again, and im pretty sure im not over her, since getting a random text from her a few days ago i haven't stopped looking at my phone, and now she wants to meet up.

Ive tried every method of closure i can think of, but still can't get her off my mind. Im pretty sure im still in love with her.

Do you have a master plan to get over someone your really care about? Should i go and meet up with her? Or should i just walk away from what is potentially a great friendship if i can get over my feelings for her?

Mean while I have my friend(the one of 10 years) who is awesome, and really attractive. But I don't know if i can continue to hold back what i really think... should i tell her or just vent to a random stranger who doesnt know her?

Darren

Tricky, very tricky. Lets deal with the "still in love" bit first. The first question you need to answer in yourself is do you really want to get over her, is there no way it could work? I've heard people say "Once a cheater always a cheater" but I dont believe that, I just think it sometimes takes a bit of time and the odd misshap to realise what you have with someone and a few slip ups like that on the way can actually make you stronger as a couple, once you regain the trust (which does take time)!

If you have thought about it and decided that yes you do want to get over her, then yes you should see her. Now this sounds odd, but bear with me! If you go the "cold turkey" route and just shut her out, this is NOT getting over her, this is you telling yourself you cant get over her so instead you will just not see her, but its a small world an this never works. SO, the only way to get over someone is to get over them with them in your life, that way you know you can be their friend. Here's how...

I would suggest a short initial period of minimal contact, the odd text, maybe a phonecall, so basically setting the foundation of a friendship, think of it like a nicotine patch, small doses of her will stop you missing her, because missing her leads to wanting her back!!! Then once you've mastered this minimal contact you are ready to meet her. Go and see her, I'd suggest something fairly mundane like a drink or maybe a film as the focus there isn't on you two as much as the film (keep away from anything that is obviously romantic, so no mushy films, no meals and no walks in the park ok). Hugs are ok, kisses on the cheek are ok but not if you think you will want more afterwards. Despite what you may think, kisses on the cheek are a very big FRIEND sign for girls, trust me! Just have a laugh with her, be exactly like you ould around your mates, maybe fart and laugh about it or blame it on her or something laddish and matey like that. It's all about getting your head round the idea that she is a friend!!!

But what is also quite important in this process to substitute the need for affection is to move on, which brings me nicely onto this other lady friend!

Not saying you should use her to get over your ex, not at all, invest real time and emotion into it as you would any relationship. If you have feelings for her then tell her, venting to someone who doesn't know her is not going to achieve anything, be a man, be brave and adventurous and chances are she will respect you for it, even if she says she doesnt feel the same at least she knows you trust her enough to confide in her and this will ensure you can maintain your friendship if nothing more comes of it!

Hope I have helped and hope that all made sense! Feel free to drop in at each stage to let me know how its goin!!

Davey

i reiterate

whip it all off you pussy. after all, we expect ladies to do it.

we don't all grow wirewool down there like Davey

Real men grow wirewool!!!!

gf invites me to easter dinner on sunday

i panic and say yes

i have a comp on monday but i have to leave on sunday

how do i tell her. with out her bollocking me.

Sorry I missed this one Dave, hope it went ok.

In future I'd advise honesty, sounds a bit cliche and pansy but I find if you make something up to get out of anything you end up getting caught out and in even more trouble. Just say you are sorry and you said yes because you would really like to go for Sunday meal some time (or whatever it is next time) but in your haste to say yes you forgot about a prior commitment. If she's a good lass she should understand!

Davey

oh davey davey,

how bloody hard can it be to find a band? :( 2 have asked me but they are so slow to reply, i wanna play!!11

What do you play? If it's guitar then this is perhaps the reason as there are an abundace of them out there, not saying you aren't good but so are a milion other people. If not then really not sure, if people aren't coming back to you then chase them up, it wont do any harm, it shows you are enthusiastic! Keep trying, but my main advice is not to settle for anything less than you think you should, if that makes sense. Dont say "Oh this band aren't great but I wanna play" because it wont last and you will tire of it. Find a great band and start something exciting!!!

Davey

Oh Davey Dave, i'm so bored at work and still have hours to go

What can i do that will stop me contemplating suicide through boredom!!!

Frooty

Again apologies for missing this, hope you didn't tip over the edge!! When I'm bored at work I often try and entertain myself on t'internet or something, as you obviously have, but insanely the best way to make the day go faster is to find something to keep you busy at work, working. Makes the day fly by I find! If work is just really quiet then try places like bored.com or play games like typing words you just made up into search engines to see if they already exist and what they mean, i like that one!!!

Davey

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davey davey dude!

I need'eth your great wisdome on needing a new tube for the front'eth of my BMX (eth)

I have no money, and it's £3 from Asda *cough* ith...

Helpetthhhhh!!!

Erm, sorry I'm not sure what your asking, are you asking if a £3 tube from Asda is a good buy? If that's all you have and you need it fixing then yes, but dont expect it to last! Really I'm more a "life advice" than bike advice, it would be a bit silly of me to try and be the latter on a trials forum wouldn't it, plus I know nothing about BMX's I'm afraid, but yes, £3 from Asda sounds like a bargain(eth)?!?

What's all the "eth" about, it's like that Akala song, haha, "thou shalt not f*ck with this" etc!

Davey

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Oh davey davey what am i to do?

Ive always loved women and always done pretty well with them all though school, but then i went to the 6th form building next to my school. And f**k me there is no gash what so ever! theres like 10 girls i would even think about getting with when drunk and there all taken. Im still doing pretty well with girls at partys and stuff but really wanna actually be with someone real and kinda fed up with having to try my luck at partys and not like able to have a propper girl friend grrr......

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Oh Davey! Don't think I've ever spoken to you before... But after reading your replys it seems you give ledge advice :P So prepare to be bored, baffed and weirded out as I spell my life out to you...

Background info: Right... I'm Male, 19 and work part-time at Morrisons Supermarket. I do 32 hours a week which is Monday and Tuesday 9am-2pm and Wednesday to Saturday 5-10/11pm. I went to college and did a 2 year course in BNC Media Studies and I passed the course. That was last July...

So what seems to be the problem, I hear you ask... The problem is, I'm stuck in a rut. My life seems to be a routine... Go to work, come home and sit on my laptop till like 2am in the morning. I don't wake up till like 12pm each day unless its a Monday or Tuesday. I've applied to become a PCSO and I've got an interview soon when they decide to let me know when it is! But apart from that I have no other job prospects. I have no desire to go into the media industry (I guess I just went to college to waste 2 years...) Ideally I would like to join the London Fire Brigade or Essex Fire Brigade... (But I'm no where near fit enough and they seem to base their interview questions more like a research questionnaire... Questions such as 'How can we recruit more people from other races?' All they seem to do is want to recruit any race other than whites or English...) But yes, I have no other job prospects like i mentioned before. I lack motivation and so just sit lazing about all day except for when I have work!

I also Lack confidence so bad. I find it hard to strike up or make conversation with anyone other than friends and family. I'm crap when it comes to meeting new people (especially females) and it just annoys me. Maybe I'm just naturally shy?

So what am I getting at... Well would like some advice ideally on how I can go about motivating myself and not sitting at home bored or anything... Also how can I get my confidence back? Just looking for general advice really.

Cheers Davey.

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annnnnnnnnnddddddd the award for gayest thread EVER on TF goes to

THIS THREAD!!!!!!!!! :D

It may be gay, but it's so f**king cool! What other forum can you go to where you can get your own inhouse agony aunt, that is both truley wise an knowledgeable.

EDIT:

Oh davey davey why is it, when I play a DVD this happens? Codec problem? I've downloaded the latest K-lite codec pack.

dvdmw8.jpg

Could download PowerDVD make it work properly?

Edited by Scopse
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Oh Davey :P , right, i went round the girlfriends house a few weeks ago for the first time, and we were just in her room for a while, and her mum got really funny about it, and she walked in and just stared at us, then asked to see her, and i could hear the conversation they were having through the wall, and it was along the lines of "you've been in your room for ages, what have you been doing" kind of conversations. So fair enough i thought, i guess most mums can be like this.

Butttttt i was talking to the gf tonight, and she was telling me about how her and her mum were talking about sex, and that her mum was fine with it, and she is going to get her the pill.

So here is the problem; why the sudden change in attitude. And what if her mum talks to me about it, am i meant to take the "yeah ok thanks" approach, or the "i don't think we will need it anyway" approach.

Aaaaah what to do lol

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davey davey, i have ginger hair, what am i to do?

Well if you really have a problem with it then just dye it, it's not hard, and you can invite some hot girl you know to do it for you, could be the start of something beautiful. But really you should embrace it, just don't wear green, it's that simple really!

Davey

Oh davey davey what am i to do?

Ive always loved women and always done pretty well with them all though school, but then i went to the 6th form building next to my school. And f**k me there is no gash what so ever! theres like 10 girls i would even think about getting with when drunk and there all taken. Im still doing pretty well with girls at partys and stuff but really wanna actually be with someone real and kinda fed up with having to try my luck at partys and not like able to have a propper girl friend grrr......

Hmm, it does sound like you are limiting yourself quite a bit, I appreciate that while you are at college the main source of female contact would be either at college or at parties, but don't you ever just go out, like into the local town or anything, just to hang out? That's the best place to meet girls! Think of it like chickens, at college it's like they are battery hens, all couped up, they are there because they have to be not through choice so finding a mate is probably the last thing on their minds! But out and about in town they are like free range, and free range meat (apologies if that sounds derogatory) is the best. They will be more relaxed and usually more open minded too, plus there is far far more choice, especially judging by what you have said!

Davey

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Oh Davey! Don't think I've ever spoken to you before... But after reading your replys it seems you give ledge advice :P So prepare to be bored, baffed and weirded out as I spell my life out to you...

Background info: Right... I'm Male, 19 and work part-time at Morrisons Supermarket. I do 32 hours a week which is Monday and Tuesday 9am-2pm and Wednesday to Saturday 5-10/11pm. I went to college and did a 2 year course in BNC Media Studies and I passed the course. That was last July...

So what seems to be the problem, I hear you ask... The problem is, I'm stuck in a rut. My life seems to be a routine... Go to work, come home and sit on my laptop till like 2am in the morning. I don't wake up till like 12pm each day unless its a Monday or Tuesday. I've applied to become a PCSO and I've got an interview soon when they decide to let me know when it is! But apart from that I have no other job prospects. I have no desire to go into the media industry (I guess I just went to college to waste 2 years...) Ideally I would like to join the London Fire Brigade or Essex Fire Brigade... (But I'm no where near fit enough and they seem to base their interview questions more like a research questionnaire... Questions such as 'How can we recruit more people from other races?' All they seem to do is want to recruit any race other than whites or English...) But yes, I have no other job prospects like i mentioned before. I lack motivation and so just sit lazing about all day except for when I have work!

I also Lack confidence so bad. I find it hard to strike up or make conversation with anyone other than friends and family. I'm crap when it comes to meeting new people (especially females) and it just annoys me. Maybe I'm just naturally shy?

So what am I getting at... Well would like some advice ideally on how I can go about motivating myself and not sitting at home bored or anything... Also how can I get my confidence back? Just looking for general advice really.

Cheers Davey.

No worries mate. I'd be happy to help. This may be lengthy so apologies, please do bear with me...

First thing I want to point out is your situation/state of mind is far from being abnormal. I cant quote percentages because I'm not an expert so they would be made up, as I've said I'm just a guy, but I know for a fact that a vast proportion on people your age find themselves feeling this way. The reason is that you are at that point between education and "the real world" where you feel like you need to make the right choice to define your life but at the same time because of your age you have a natural urge to just doss about, this results in the routine you have described, pretty much just plodding along. So you're not alone!

You seem to have a good idea of what you want to do as a career though, which puts you ahead of a lot of people including me and I've been in work for almost 6 years now, so that's good. There are a plethera of jobs in the services which you can go for, and I'm sure they dont all require you to be of other ethnicity or built like a tank. If you were just sitting on your bum waiting for life to pass by then I'd be worried but you ARE making moves to do something, so I think you are more motivated than you think, and certainly more motivated than most!!! Also the jobs you are talking about suggest you are motivated, they're not just a means to an end kinda thing they are real job satisfaction hands on get up and grab life by the testicles kinda jobs! Dont get confused between lack of motivation and boredom with your current situation, they aren't the same thing. We all get sick of routine and bogged down with life from time to time and it makes us just want to give up but in fact we can use it as a form of motivation to achieve something better and more reqwarding, and I think this is the case with you, just relax and stay focused on what you want to do and let that be your motivation! You obviously know you can do better than Morrisons, which brings me on to confidence!

To put it very simply, confidence is NOT about making any change in how you look or act or anything, I dislike these reality makeover shows in that respect. I'm not denying that looking fitter or whatever can give you more confidence, but I dont think it's a healthy notion to install in someones mind that they have to make other people happy to gain self confidence, that they have to conform in order to fit in and be accepted and this is how to gain confidence, it's just false and it doesn't last. The key to confidence is accepting what people already think of you not trying to change what they think of you. Rationalise it, just tell yourself that it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, if a few people dont like you or dont get you or you make a tit of yourself from time to time it's really not going to matter, and there's nothing you can do about it anyway. Life's too short and you can't please everyone so why try, the world needs to accept you as you are, faults and all, it's no good pretending to be some really confident guy all full of yourself and then when people get to know you you're nothing like that, just be yourself, I know that's cliched but I hope I have explained the reasoning behind it. You'll find in time that you naturally become more cinfident, especially if you move into a job of the type you are looking at, as you will be having to deal face to face with all sorts of people, so in that respect confidence does grow with age too, dont think that just because you are shy now you will always be that way!

Hope this helps in some way, really I want you to see that the rutt is only in your head. You're at a turning point in your life but as yet you haven't made the turn you're still sat at the junction deciding which indicator to put on, so progress is slow and that is what is disheartening you, but don't let it get you down, focus on when you make the turn and find your new direction, and use that to motivate you!

Davey

Yea but i go to LOADS of partys and get with loads of birds... just never end up leading anywhere further than like a quickie round the back...

In a roundabout way you have answered your own question there. Getting with girls at parties very rarely leads to anything more meaningful than this, that's just how that environment works, that kinda alcohol fueled hedonistic primeval instinct to just put it about a bit comes into play for guys and girls at parties, it's not the place to find something lasting. I'd still suggest trying to meet girls in a more neutral, relaxed, day to day kinda environment, but one where they are there through choice. I've met eyes with numerous girls while shopping in Debenhams so as a top tip I'd suggest starting there, though it has to be the girls department really so you need a female friend to give you the reason for being there, otherwise it suggests you're either gay of you have a girlfriend who you are shopping for!

Davey

It may be gay, but it's so f**king cool! What other forum can you go to where you can get your own inhouse agony aunt, that is both truley wise an knowledgeable.

EDIT:

Oh davey davey why is it, when I play a DVD this happens? Codec problem? I've downloaded the latest K-lite codec pack.

dvdmw8.jpg

Could download PowerDVD make it work properly?

Thank your for defending the thread, I really do hope I can help a few people and give some added value if you get what I mean. However as I have mentioned I clearly dont know much about certain topics such as BMX and I'm afraid this is another one. But whenever anything goes wrong with my PC at home I get on google and type in something like "Playback problems in Windows XP" or "Codec problems" or something. Sometimes Google is just the wisest thing out there, it knows all!!!

Davey

Edited by Davey
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Oh Davey :P , right, i went round the girlfriends house a few weeks ago for the first time, and we were just in her room for a while, and her mum got really funny about it, and she walked in and just stared at us, then asked to see her, and i could hear the conversation they were having through the wall, and it was along the lines of "you've been in your room for ages, what have you been doing" kind of conversations. So fair enough i thought, i guess most mums can be like this.

Butttttt i was talking to the gf tonight, and she was telling me about how her and her mum were talking about sex, and that her mum was fine with it, and she is going to get her the pill.

So here is the problem; why the sudden change in attitude. And what if her mum talks to me about it, am i meant to take the "yeah ok thanks" approach, or the "i don't think we will need it anyway" approach.

Aaaaah what to do lol

Well I wasn't there to hear the conversation but it doesn't sound like such a dramatic U turn to go from "What are you up to in your room" to "Ok young lady lets talk about sex and get you some contraceptive". It's quite likely in fact, you go home and they sit down and chat and her mum decides to do what I would call the sensible thing and accept that teenagers are gonna have sex and it's best to be prepared for it rather than try and stop it happening!

If her mum does talk to you about it, not sure that's likely but I had an ex whose mum was very open so it does happen, I'd just take on board whatever she says and agree with her. Her mum isn't stupid so telling her you wont need it is more likely to insult her intelligence anyway, she was young once too you know!!

Davey

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Huck_it, Yeah, Davey's indeed right in his infinite wisdom. That is the normal thing to happen, with my ex her dad banned us from being in her room alone for too long, then a few days later her mum sprung on her with the whole contraceptive talk while giving her a lift to mine. It's normal, and as Davey said, they're not stupid, so just graciously accept the fact they're understanding in the situation and don't mention it again.

Simpson, with the whole meeting people at party's thing. If you find yourself really liking a girl, you could try not having a quicky out the back, and just getting there number, then text them in the morning and ask to meet up sometime while sobre. I've had a couple of girlfriends I've meat like this. Just make sure you don't just meet up and get at it, genuinely get to know them or its not really any better than the quicky out the back. (well, being sobre will mean you remember it more vividly. ;) ). I know I don't really get bad beer goggles though, so it might not work if you do. You could just end up on a load of dates with horses.

Right, so as not to rival Davey (not that I could ever match him. :bow: . I shall come up with a problem of my own to ask and edit this post. (Y) (thing is, I know what I should do about most of my problems, I'm just crap at doing it.)

Edit: Oh Davey Davey:

I've run out of Blood Brothers albums/EP's to buy or download, know any bands I should check out?

On a more serious note:

I live in Chard, some of you may have heard of it as a violent shit whole. It is. I hate living here as it's mind numbingly boring 90% of the time, then someone will get crossbowed or something, which is exciting, but a little worrying at the same time. So yeah. It sucks.

This has lead me to know everyone local (as you do in small towns), and I now know there is pretty much bugger all people within about 10 miles of here who I would actually like to start a relationship with. Now as a college student I have a free bus pass within the county, so getting out of town isn't too hard, but is inconvenient. Also I have pretty much no life now. All I ever do is ride. I have a good bunch of riding mates in the area, but any mates who don't ride have all f**ked off and decided they like weed more than there friends.

Basically, is there anyway of me getting a life back? I'm soooo frigiding bored of sitting at home waiting to go out on my bike. All I can think of is to play my bass more and do some more college work. But I suck at getting on with college work, as I do well enough in the time I have in college, and none of my mates who play instruments have personalities of their own left thanks to the good old holy herb.

Edited by Dont you Just Hate it When...
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Oh Davey Davey:

I've run out of Blood Brothers albums/EP's to buy or download, know any bands I should check out?

On a more serious note:

I live in Chard, some of you may have heard of it as a violent shit whole. It is. I hate living here as it's mind numbingly boring 90% of the time, then someone will get crossbowed or something, which is exciting, but a little worrying at the same time. So yeah. It sucks.

This has lead me to know everyone local (as you do in small towns), and I now know there is pretty much bugger all people within about 10 miles of here who I would actually like to start a relationship with. Now as a college student I have a free bus pass within the county, so getting out of town isn't too hard, but is inconvenient. Also I have pretty much no life now. All I ever do is ride. I have a good bunch of riding mates in the area, but any mates who don't ride have all f**ked off and decided they like weed more than there friends.

Basically, is there anyway of me getting a life back? I'm soooo frigiding bored of sitting at home waiting to go out on my bike. All I can think of is to play my bass more and do some more college work. But I suck at getting on with college work, as I do well enough in the time I have in college, and none of my mates who play instruments have personalities of their own left thanks to the good old holy herb.

First things first, if you like Blood Brothers you may like a band called "Yeah I'm on fire". Dont let the name put you off, they have some really good tunes and a similar dual vocal high end noise type sound, so give them a go!!

Ok, moving on... I've never been to Chard but it sounds charming! A lot of people at the moment seem to consider that they don't have a life, I'm not sure exactly what people mean by this really, I see a guy with a home and a family and friends and interests getting an education and I find it hard to see the problem. But there is one and it's boredom!! Routine is most peoples biggest problem, it really drags you down when each day is the same! I think it's important to be spontaneous in life as much as possible, some days me and the Missus get in the car and just drive, when we get to a junction she says left or right and we just go there, and she doesn't have much of a sense of direction so we end up all sorts of places!

Thing about life is that you are in the driving seat, exciting things aren't going to come knocking at your door you have to go find them, so what use is sitting around waiting to go out on your bike? And what use is complaining about it when it's you who's doing it, no one else can make you get up of your bum, just try NOT sitting around waiting, get out of Chard, because it holds no surprises for you. Obviously if you are in education you can't really move but I expect you will, are you planning on going to University? That is a great adventure if you are educationally inclined, I never was personally so I went and got a job which can be just as exciting!

But for now just the odd trip with mates to some place would be good, get a few drinks inside you for inspiration maybe, it needn't cost much. The thing is one day you are going to have to get a job and a mortgage and have debts etc, and you'll wish you spent less time complaining about being bored and more time out there doing stupid stuff just for a laugh!! Daveys top 3 tips for cheap stuff to do for entertainment are:

1. Camping, sounds lame but a portable BBQ and a few beers will liven things up and make for some real good times!

2. Water slide, basically get a large tarpaulin, some fairy liquid and a hosepipe, make a big wet mess then have fun chucking yourself down it until your knees bleed, excellent!!!

3. Get lost. No I'm not being mean, I mean actually get lost, go somewhere you have never been and try and get completely lost, then find your way back. Obviously take a mobile with you!!

It's a big old world out there, there's plenty to do, and there are lots of people (girls) to be meet! Use that bus pass, it may be inconvenient but like I said, life isn't going to come knocking at your door, you gotta go out and get it!

Davey

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Oh Davey Davey,

In response to you advice(which is sound so far). Me and my ex have been talking alot via phone and the net. Altho he current bloke seems to be very protective and doesn't like her texting me. Now after a lengthy and truthful chat with her last night i know she still has the same feelings for me but also really likes/loves him. Altho and i quote "he lacks in certain areas". Should i be worried about breaking them up inadvertantly? Or should i try and convince him i just want to be friends? I feel like im backing her into a corner and he is trying to throw punches, by making her say things she doesnt want to or mean.

@Scopse - Does it do the same in VLC? Link

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Oh Davey

I have no motivation to study for my exams next month and i have to pass them all. I'm fine not revising maths, chem, bio and physics until closer to the time but i really have to knuckle down and get a B pass in English or i cant go to medical school. How can i motivate myself to do it ? I seem to plan to start at 1 or 2 o'clock but then procrastinate until about 4 or 5 and by then cant be arsed so say ill do it tomorrow? Help!!

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Oh Davey Davey,

In response to you advice(which is sound so far). Me and my ex have been talking alot via phone and the net. Altho he current bloke seems to be very protective and doesn't like her texting me. Now after a lengthy and truthful chat with her last night i know she still has the same feelings for me but also really likes/loves him. Altho and i quote "he lacks in certain areas". Should i be worried about breaking them up inadvertantly? Or should i try and convince him i just want to be friends? I feel like im backing her into a corner and he is trying to throw punches, by making her say things she doesnt want to or mean.

@Scopse - Does it do the same in VLC? Link

So you are still sure, despite her feelings, that you don't want to try again? You want to move to the friend zone? If this is the case then yes you should make it clear to him AND to her that you want to be just friends, no leading anyone on or giving mixed feelings now because you will only confuse everyone including yourself, make a definite decision and stick to it!!!

Your situation is very similar to mine, accept I am the other guy. My missus ex was hanging around claiming he wanted to just be friends and I didnt believe him and have seen texts to prove he wanted more, but even we are mates now so it is possible for everyone to get along!

Most important thing to remember is that it is going to look bad to the other guy, he is quite possibly going to be a jerk but try and be understanding because I know how he is feeling. He will problably be trying to make you look bad by getting a rise out of you, so dont rise to it, just stay calm! One thing I could advise because it certainly calmed me down when my missus ex said it to me is to tell him you think he's a good guy and you know she is happy and cares about him and you will be respectful of their relationship, that is to say you won't be calling her all hours and turning up every 5 seconds. He'll probably appreciate that and she will too, show's you're a genuine good guy!

Davey

Oh Davey

I have no motivation to study for my exams next month and i have to pass them all. I'm fine not revising maths, chem, bio and physics until closer to the time but i really have to knuckle down and get a B pass in English or i cant go to medical school. How can i motivate myself to do it ? I seem to plan to start at 1 or 2 o'clock but then procrastinate until about 4 or 5 and by then cant be arsed so say ill do it tomorrow? Help!!

Again this word motivation is being banded about, and I think it is being used incorrectly.

If you read what you have said the motivation is all there, you can't go to medical school without the grades, that should be motivation enough! What you really have a problem with (forgive my boldness but I mean no offence) is possibly laziness, or more likely too many distractions. I'm not going to lecture because I'm the same, in fact I am probably worse!

You need to identify what it is that distracts you, is it your bike, the telly, internet, porn? If you can manage it then try and eliminte the temptations, give yourself a flat tire and dont fix it till you're done studying, get your parents to take away your TV until you are done studying! It sounds extreme but if you're anything like me then it really is the only way, and you WILL feel like such a weight has been lifted once you've done it that you will enjoy all those things so much more when yuo get them back!

Davey

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