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[Davetrials]

weres my g spot?

where bouts in my arse, im bored at home and fancy somthing new

[Si-man]

LMAO!!!

[Davey]

weres my g spot?

where bouts in my arse, im bored at home and fancy somthing new

Ok Dave

Well the male G Spot is in fact the prostate gland. It is situated bellow the bladder and as you have correctly pointed out the only access for stimulation is by way of your anus, inserting either fingers or some other suitable object. Stimulate about 2-3 inches in on the front wall of your colon (towards your front) and you'll be laughing.... or perhaps just breathing very heavilly!

Davey

Edited April 13, 2007 by Davey

[Davetrials]

u seem like the kinda person that has experimented in this fashion b4hand?

[Davey]

u seem like the kinda person that has experimented in this fashion b4hand?

I considered it while sitting in the bath one day, but after a quick prod at the gates I wasn't convinced anything would actually fit up there so I left well alone!

Davey

[poopipe]

Jon is too busy doing much more important things to work for the BBC, he does all sorts, shit you wouldnt' believe..... he is an enigma.... Or just something to do with computer programming or something, either way, he's too "real" for the BBC so they wouldn't hire him!

Davey

you're surprisingly close to the truth there.

I have actually done work with the BBC R&D department and I am indeed too 'real' for them (in my limited experience tv producers appear to be tossers with no time for anybody).

I'm not a programmer though - I got the hell out of that job some time ago

[Token]

Oh Davey, Davey....

I need to kill someone, the killing part is easy but disposing of the body an getting the body around, (the persons quite fat you see) we'll it's a problem. I don't know where I can dispose of the body, bearing in mind that I don't want anybody to find the body during my lifetime.

What would you recommend? Where's the best place to 'lose' someone?

[poopipe]

just eat him

[Fishy]

Pig farm? Snatch style

[A!!]

Pig farm? Snatch style

Thats what i was going to say, but get rid of the teeth first.

[Token]

Pig farm? Snatch style

Then I'll have to pay some dirty farmer off to feed his pigs a body. Can't I hide it somewhere or sink it or whatever. Nobody must know, can't live my life knowing that I've involved somebody directly in disposing of a body, I'd have to kill them aswell to cover my back.

EDIT: where's davey? he'll know what to do.

Edited April 20, 2007 by Scopse

[Fish-Finger-er]

my personal idea if ever it came down to it, was to just cut them up so they fitted into an oil drum, and then fill it with wood(big thick stuff), petrol,bit of oil,charcoal etc. burn it all down, hopefully should of got warm enough over the course of a night to get rid of the bone, if not, if i had whole bones, id just turn them into dust on a bench grinder or the like, if not,then u can just dump the ash anywhere, preferably somewhere wheres theres been a few fires recently,and windy(hilltops next to lakes etc are favourites for this, the ash dont look out of place, from all the fires campers would have, and would soon blow away, due to being high up).

either that, or once youve burnt it, just cut the barrel down, so its about 6inches higher than the ash(at a guess, would be 18inches or so high after cutting the top off), fill with cement, and take out on a small boat a couple of miles, and chuck it over the side, pretty much unfindable, and if ever found, wont be dna evidence in there of you,or of the body really.

[Davetrials]

Thats not a bad idea, i always thort surley if u jibbed a body off in the sea a fair few miles away, no one would find it? tie sum bricks to it

probly get caught though, thats why i havent killed neone.

burning sounds like a good idea.

kill them and kick them in the river then ring the police, say uve found a body

bury them in ur garden, are the police ever gonna actually check ur garden:P

[Fish-Finger-er]

Thats not a bad idea, i always thort surley if u jibbed a body off in the sea a fair few miles away, no one would find it? tie sum bricks to it

probly get caught though, thats why i havent killed neone.

burning sounds like a good idea.

kill them and kick them in the river then ring the police, say uve found a body

bury them in ur garden, are the police ever gonna actually check ur garden:P

yea, but theres always the chance a diver or someone may find it, or the bricks may come loose, and with time and the tide, it will get washed back in, but in a small block of concrete(thats why i said cut the barrel down, otherwise youll probably sink your boat, and give yourself a hernia trying to chuck it over the side, if it ever was seen by a diver, its basically a poor mans anchor(i know plenty of lake fishermen, who use paint tins filled with cement as anchors.) and the rope snapped when it was hangin over the side,and with the weight of it, it would never be brought inland.

as for kickin them in the river, forensics will still rip it apart.

and as for buryin them in ur garden, its not really a wise idea, if i went and dug a 8 foot hole in me garden, neighbours would probably notice(whereas going out in a boat from a fishing village, wouldnt arouse suspicion in the day, and at night no one would see you, wouldnt like to dig up me garden at 3am in the morning, as wen janice 2 doors down comes downstairs for an aspirin and a shake of her lettuce, id be lookin mighty suspicous.

also if the police ever suspected you, they would dig up your garden, and ud be royally bolloxed then, as theyd find a body, and you couldnt really say, maybe someone else hid it there, especially if you wer a suspect in the first place. but if they suspected you of killing them, an there body was 3 miles out, they wouldnt have a body, theyd have no idea of a murder weapon, and wouldnt have any idea why you wer linked to it, unless they knew the crimescene, and you had ur dna there, but as i take its someone you know, hence the reason youve said hes fat, theres always a semi reasonable explanation as to why your there(even if you had a punch up with him a week earlier, im sure youir not the only one who wants to kill him)

[Fishy]

Have you got a dog? If you do, chop him/her up into bitesize peices and feed away.

[Dr Dig]

Trials_punk youve thought waaaaaay too much about this. I wont lie im a little scared even thought ill probably never meet you. This, in my books, puts you on par with si-man in terms of scary. lol

[dave85]

Its common sense, it took three drunk lads about five minutes to come up with that lot the other week when I posed the question

[ogre]

can you drive/got your own car? alto killing (preferably a clean way) load them into your car and drive with them as far as you can that way if they find the body they're unlikely to associate it with you (or they could assume it was dumped there) but when you do the driving part, you want to have already found a location however far away that is in the middle of nowhere and already have your big hole dug for them dump them in the hole, set fire to them trials-punk stylie and finish they burrying, and drive home.

[kid creole]

that would leave loads of forensic evidence in your car thou wouldn't it ? also sod's law says some one would see you doing it or fill your hole in before you got there.

[Fish-Finger-er]

that would leave loads of forensic evidence in your car thou wouldn't it ? also sod's law says some one would see you doing it or fill your hole in before you got there.

dont you just hate that, when youve killed someone, and are just waiting for the quiet moment when you can drive them upto your pre dug grave to get rid of them. but when you finally get there, some fools already beaten u to it, and stuck his victim in there, pretty much the same as you buyin drinks for the girl you like all night, then when shes drunk enough for you to have a chance,someone elses cops off with her while your in the bog freshening up.

[poopipe]

idiots

just bloody eat him

[ScotchDave]

Well, my personal suggestion is to get him f**ked on ether, take him somewhere quiet, kill him by asphyxiation, cut body up and burn it, bury the bones in the concrete anchor, drop the anchor in the sea... Also burn all clothes etc in body fire...

[Fishy]

Pull their teeth out and bury them somewhere else. Just incase the fire doesn't get hot enough to burn them.

Remember to wear a hat and gloves, stops hairs and fingerprints spreading, and also buy some really well common clothes, so if they do find any fibers they can't directly assotiate it with you. Also buy a pair of shoes a fair few sizes bigger/smaller, if they find foot prints you can say they ain't yours because you have a different size.

If you can, buy a really cheap car from an auction. Pay with money and nobody asks questions And if you decide to keep the cars, buy a second hand pair of tyres if they find any car tyre tracks, you can burn the other set and fit the second hand ones easy.

If you are entering his home, remember to go back and wipe down everything you've touched, and retrace your footsteps.

Other than that I can't really think of much else... Happy Killing.

Edited April 22, 2007 by Joe Rothwell

[Fish-Finger-er]

Pull their teeth out and bury them somewhere else. Just incase the fire doesn't get hot enough to burn them.

Remember to wear a hat and gloves, stops hairs and fingerprints spreading, and also buy some really well common clothes, so if they do find any fibers they can't directly assotiate it with you. Also buy a pair of shoes a fair few sizes bigger/smaller, if they find foot prints you can say they ain't yours because you have a different size.

If you can, buy a really cheap car from an auction. Pay with money and nobody asks questions And if you decide to keep the cars, buy a second hand pair of tyres if they find any car tyre tracks, you can burn the other set and fit the second hand ones easy.

If you are entering his home, remember to go back and wipe down everything you've touched, and retrace your footsteps.

Other than that I can't really think of much else... Happy Killing.

fish my serial killing prodigal son, youve got a lot to learn. teeth should always be crushed or ground up,or at least have the tops filed off.

as for shoes, plastic bags over your shoes works a treat, also for not spreading dna.

as for the car thing. your best bet is to burn the car as well, its amazing how mud is geographically specific, and how if you dont clean your car properly, mud trapped under your wheel arches can stick you at the scene of the crime.

its why boats are the way forward in killing, harder to track the exact course, DNA will be easily washed away from salt water coming over the side. even if your spotted dumping a body, there aint much chance of the police recovering it that far out. and best of all, boats rarely leave tyre tracks. disposal of boats is also rather easy, being wood an all they burn rather well, and the fact there sitting in water, means there kinda outta the way once there disposed off, a burnt out car is still there, a boat will either sink or break up, and hopefully with the right tide, will be washed several different ways.

edit: not to mention the fact in a boat, nobody will get close enough to see your face without making themselves stand out, and on top of that, youll be wearing orange/yellow waterproofs if you got any sense, same as most sailors.

also saltwaters not really geographically specific. cant tie you to a crime scene by a bit of salt water on the bottom of your boat

Edited April 22, 2007 by trials_punk182

[Fishy]

Yeah, but even with just plastic bag over your feet, they can tell the exact size. Which would be f**king gay after doing all the other shiz bang.