don't listen to those bastards fatty The following things wil guarantee success with that special lady... Get yourself a nice warm coat, a bat and a thermos then hang around outside her house all day and night in case other men turn up - if they do, batter them. This demonstrates your commitment. Phone her on the hour every hour - hide your number and don't say anything, just breathe deeply. This demonstrates your mysterious side. Leave pretty gifts on her doorstep every morning - eg. dead birds stapled to little wooden frames that are decorated with flowers from her own garden. This demonstrates your sensitive side.