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onza pro series guy

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Everything posted by onza pro series guy

  1. get naked and cover yourself in goose fat, go to the shop and run at the window, then do spin your penis around while doing starjumps outside, if this still doesn't attract their attention enter the shop and perform the moonwalk while humming 'Billie Jean' to yourself up and down the isle, then present your testicles to the shopkeeper by pushing your shaft to one side and squeezing them as hard as you can while screaming 'Why don't you love me like you used to?!' Then ask him if he can smell his mum on your breath and burp in his face. Then squat in front of a CCTV camera and squeeze out a massive turd on the floor, insert a miniture flag of Azerbaijan in it and run away while making a noise like a dying velociraptor. it's never failed to get me noticed
  2. Dear people of the internetz, i have yo shit in ma hooose! I haz; a ipod docking bay, a skirt, some shoes and some wings! I am keeping the un-opened alcohol cos im that kinda guy ;) comment if you want to see your stuff again before i hit it with hammers for fun.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. g1nge@trials

      g1nge@trials

      i think he has been on the alcohol that the interwebz left him :)

    3. HippY

      HippY

      thats alright but where does he get the docking bay, skirt shoes and wings?

    4. onza pro series guy

      onza pro series guy

      facebook auto-imports my statuses!!!

  3. thanks to everyone who helped me to get 'slightly tipsy' for my 18th. Espically liz dot and indy b for organsing a dope night, Dom for forcing me to drink from the moment i finished work till the moment i cried on my patio, and Darren for being a top lad and letting a group of us shave his eyebrow off :) MUCHLOVE!!!!

    1. showurcolours

      showurcolours

      haha, oh my god sounds like a hectic night!

    2. Martin Reynolds

      Martin Reynolds

      to be honest, if theres no vomit or police involved, it's a good night :P

  4. thanks for the b-day messages people

  5. tried to ride my fixie round my house a little while ago, seemed like a good idea, which lead to me trying to axle stand in my front room and falling off into my TV. Also on the way home about two weeks ago I decided to climb a fence and stand on top of it while peeing off; i balenced for about 15secs while peeing before falling off and landing face first in my own pee-mud. But after that I bought a McDonalds so it was fine
  6. think this one was the best I got http://chickenonaraft.com/
  7. want a dirty drift slag to smash into walls. FWD sucks.

    1. Pashley26

      Pashley26

      No, FWD rules. Learn to lift off before you buy RWD. Having a RWD car means nothing if you haven't a clue how to control it.

  8. A pack of randoms, the biggest can of red bull, rockstar and a bag of haribo. Lets get this ucas shit done.

  9. Life's short and hard like a body-building elf

    1. Danny00135
    2. onza pro series guy

      onza pro series guy

      ahh the pills came through the post alright then?

  10. I work there and the guys downstairs matched up a touch up pen for my Inspired pretty well. You can't see the one chip I used it on before I realised it was a losing battle
  11. Are those little rubber covers at the end of each driveshaft/hub still there? A long shot but if there full of stones/grit/crap its probably not going to sound too great? Think i need to clean my carb out, her revs die on idle and sometimes it leads to her just cutting out compleately
  12. good luck dude, been wanting to do one of these for a while. thought about just running a BMX front wheel with stunt pegs for your feet and no drive, seeing as you can only propperly use thes on hills anyway?
  13. Just manged to park in the smallest space in the world :) i love my mini :D

    1. Danny00135

      Danny00135

      Must.. resist.. urge.. to.. type.. innapropriate.. comment..

    2. dann2707
    3. onza pro series guy
  14. hasn't been much going on here for a while, so I thought I'd try and bump start the thread (pardon the pun) with a pretty pointless post. The girl I'm seeing just bought herself another mini, while her Open Classic is off the road. The silver Sprite is mine by the way:
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