isitafox Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 Right folks, as many of you know I'm a signaller on the railway and as such work pretty much alone. My interactions with the outside world are pretty limited to speaking to the odd shunter/driver when they ask to put a train somewhere and I'm stuck inside a 10m x 4m box for 12hrs at a time. Recently I've started to notice changes in my behaviour, I've always been shy but over the last few months I find myself struggling to talk to anyone, even when I see friends in the street I kind of avoid having to talk to them and when I help out on the farm I live on, milking for example, I will quite happily be in the parlour with my father in law for 2hrs straight and not say a word. So far tonight I've been at work for 4½hrs now and spoke about 5 words over the radio, I've literally been sat in silence for well over 2hrs now. I can attribute some of my behaviour to working shifts and generally being tired from that but it's as if not speaking here is causing me to not speak anywhere else, on top of this I've started to get panic attacks when I go somewhere I'm not familiar with. A good example is a few months ago when I arranged a ride at Salford Quays, it didn't take long to run out of stuff to ride so we decided to move on into Manchester City Centre which is when I started to panic a bit, I've been to Manchester loads of times for work and taken my bike but as it was out the norm and I was there with people I'd only just met or didn't speak to in person very often I was absolutely shitting myself. Anyone knowledgeable on such a subject or had similar problems? All this is part of the reason why I've applied for a new job where I'll see a few more people (not many) and at least be out of this prison! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FamilyBiker Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 (edited) that is called social phobia and is likely for persons that are working or living in isolation. force yourself to get out and to places where you´ll see/speak to many people,or you have a chance of it becoming a chronic desease. no joke,i absolutely know what youre talking about Edited April 26, 2014 by FamilyBiker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ItsMatt Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 would it be possible to listen to podcasts whilst working? personally I find they help keep the social connection whilst being involuntarily antisocial for long periods of time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isitafox Posted April 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 Not allowed radios or anything in the box sadly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 (edited) Gimme a shout on FB messenger if you want, I've got a while to spare and a tiny bit of experience in this field. Edited April 26, 2014 by JD™ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dman Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 I've had a panic/anxiety attack, I'm not sure really that's what doc said it was, but it's not nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HippY Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 same happened here, I could speak hours and hours with a stranger, and after 2 years of being alone, it was difficult Get some old friends and lets have a talk with them about life Go out pubs, where you are familiar with, talk to a stranger, few beers help as well If you dont move out it will not be better, thats what I try to do and yes, I am stoked but nervous about Tartydays as well, but it might help ( and have some fun too) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigjames Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 I've noticed the same thing, been living alone for the last few months and at times i've spoken to no one all day. I've found myself feeling incredibly lonely and depressed and the thought of going out to do simple things like shopping has led me have panic attacks and not be able to leave the flat. I've had to force myself to leave the flat and it is the only thing that seems to make it any easier. Hasn't stopped me talking to myself, it's really not a nice feeling and I sympathise with you a lot. You've just got to try and get out as much as possible when you can and socialise. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forteh Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 (edited) I know you've mentioned it before but how about finding your local gaming club and taking up 40k or something similar? You have days on end alone to concentrate on the hobby side but can then go socialise ( with somewhat socially awkward nerds!) to help alleviate the personal isolation. Not been in the situation myself but perhaps it might help? edit: I reckon you would need to engage in the tactic/ game side of things, not just the hobbying otherwise you may be reinforcing the issues you're facing anyway. Edited April 26, 2014 by forteh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zetecmk2 Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 i think only a deep sea diver would look at your job thinking "freedom". the net don't help. now you can tap a keyboard to communicate. people need interaction!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted April 26, 2014 Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 People need a shift key. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isitafox Posted April 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 26, 2014 I struggle a lot for spare time, at the moment if I'm not at work I have to help milk in a morning to justify the fact we live on the farm fully bill free so by the time I've had lunch there's only a couple of hours before I do the school run. It's not too bad when I can get away with riding to school with my son as I'll take my trials bike and have a play on the way home which cheers me up but it's only a short term thing. In fact riding trials is pretty much the one thing that totally releases me, I could talk trials 24/7 to anyone and feel fine but anything else loses me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trialsiain Posted April 27, 2014 Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 I'm like this around everyone haha you have always seemed pretty chatty when I've seen you at comps though? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valk Posted April 27, 2014 Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 First of all sorry for my English as it's not my language. I've gotten panic attacks nearly on a daily basis since 2008 but it's because of a fobia I have with my health. After it's been kind of "under control" I kept on having panic attacks and it was pretty bad at uni to the point of skipping 1 full year just because of fear to go there. Later I got a job and since I was forced to go out and interact with people they kind of went away for the most part, I'd still have them but not as frequent. However for the past 2 months my online business took off and I was forced to quit my job and stay at home and work all day however this took a big toll out of my "mental health" because now I avoid going out as much as I can and if I HAVE to go out I'll be shitting myself for the beginning of the "trip" to the point of which I wish to just pass out or something so I don't have to keep experiencing that. I've got some money now which I'm really grateful for and it allowed me to buy "the car of my dreams" however the anxiety is so bad that I can't even drive it. Riding helped me a lot since I started going out with friends, even if it wasn't very far however lately I find it hard to get the bike in the car and travel like 5km's to a rock garden and ride there because I think that I'll be feeling super bad if I even try to go (despite having been there many times before). I find it that panic attacks don't really ever go away unless you FORCE yourself to live somewhat of a normal life, If you don't have many friends or something to go out then make excuses to go out, go to the supermarket, talk to the cashier, go downtown and go shopping, just force yourself because otherwise you won't have much of a normal life. That's pretty much what the "linden" method explains about dealing with panic attacks. Invite friends over, invite people to ride with you, literally force yourself to do it. I know that 70% of what I said didn't make sense but the little bit that it did, I hope it helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HippY Posted April 27, 2014 Report Share Posted April 27, 2014 I know that 70% of what I said didn't make sense but the little bit that it did, I hope it helps. on a side note: I think you write with better grammar than 90% of the English people online, dont worry about that! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe O'Connor Posted April 28, 2014 Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 I worked in a supermarket for two years dealing face to face with customers but I ended up with a similar thing to you. Spending 9 hours a day talking to people made me never want to interact or talk with people at any other time. After work and on days off I never wanted to see people, even my immediate family, or talk to anyone. I became terrible at communicating and I am still struggling to get back my ability to communicate to people 5 months after quitting. I think getting a different job is by far the best idea, something that gets you amongst more people and talking more. I'm sure it will make a huge difference. As for panic attacks, I don't get those but I do get a bit uncomfortable outside of my normal routine. Leaving home to pursue my dreams and what not was one of the scariest things I've ever had to do. I think taking some big steps to go outside of your comfort zone will help. I think I think pretty much think everything everyone else on the topic... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross McArthur Posted April 28, 2014 Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 I can relate to the seeing too many people thing. I don’t have panic attacks and im not socially awkward, although I might make others feel awkward sometimes I revel in some time to myself when I can get a bit of peace and quiet. Not being surrounded by dicks in traffic jams or dodging pot holes on shitty roads in a car with 101 problems. No hustle and bustle of a busy office with phone calls and emails to answer. No family to run around after picking up dropping off listening to their problems, making dinner for etc... Empty house, couch, close eyes - Bliss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted April 28, 2014 Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 I can relate to the seeing too many people thing. I don’t have panic attacks and im not socially awkward, although I might make others feel awkward sometimes I revel in some time to myself when I can get a bit of peace and quiet. Not being surrounded by dicks in traffic jams or dodging pot holes on shitty roads in a car with 101 problems. No hustle and bustle of a busy office with phone calls and emails to answer. No family to run around after picking up dropping off listening to their problems, making dinner for etc... Empty house, couch, close eyes - Bliss. Pretty certain everyone enjoys that mate? Or at least I think they do? My idea of relaxing lately is to be on my own in the kitchen, few bottles of ale, a great long recipe to cook something and some sick mega epic tunes on. Not even arsed about eating the food it's just the fun in making it all. Everyone loves a bit of alone time? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross McArthur Posted April 28, 2014 Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 Yea, what I was getting at was, being alone isnt all bad. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CriminalRider Posted April 28, 2014 Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 It's easy. Find another job or spent more time with people. Otherwise things will only get worse. And this "social phobia" thing disappears pretty quick if it started recently, so do not wait, do something. This fear is pretty stupid and ungrounded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dngr2self Posted April 28, 2014 Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 Psychology 101 right there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CriminalRider Posted April 28, 2014 Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 (edited) Psychology 101 right there. What should he do instead? Whining on TF? How will it help him? There are no need to be psychiatrist to solve "problems" like that. Also I want to ask, how many books on psychiatry you read? Freud, Jung, Adler, Fromm at least? Edited April 28, 2014 by CriminalRider Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
N.Wood Posted April 28, 2014 Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 What should he do instead? Whining on TF? How will it help him? Pot kettle black there my man. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greetings Posted April 28, 2014 Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 This is quite interesting. I also work alone and most of my contact with other human beings during working hours is through a mobile but chiefly over communicators. I also live in a very remote location and have no friends nearby. I've been observing very similar changes in my behavior to you but not to the extent you talk about. It started after graduating from uni which is where I had most of my social relations. With that gone I was spending most of my time at work alone. Changes I've noticed are being more happy when alone (used to bother me), my social skills I think have taken a turn for the worse but it's hard to say, furthermore I'm completely fine with just having my gf, dad and occasionally two mates around. I've become a bit more alert in crowded areas and those bother me far more than they used to. I still cherish my friends and really enjoy spending time with them but I don't feel the urge to socialize as frequently as I used to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CriminalRider Posted April 28, 2014 Report Share Posted April 28, 2014 Pot kettle black there my man. Well, partially agree, but migration and earning hundreds of thousands of pounds is a little more difficult than beating a social phobia, isn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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