Has anyone seen my shoe?

Teenage Angst Communal Agony Aunt Thread

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I've said it before and I'll say it again; The best way to get over one girl is to get under another.

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Posted (edited)

I was about to start this post with "Girls are f**king complicated", but quickly realised that that's not needed since this thread exists. :P

Met up with a girl from school again last week, we manage to meet about twice a year, talk so much that I get the feeling that we can't talk because we talk to much.
Kinda like a very short attention span in conversations. Topic A, one question, Topic B, one question et cetera.
Quite interesting, kinda fun, kinda frustrating.
I do get the impression that we get along well together, as we used to before we lost contact for a couple of years.

What does get to me a bit is that she hardly ever bloody answers texts.
Yesterday morning I thought that I managed to get a conversation going again. She had shown me a pretty big scar and I didn't really get to ask anything about it (the whole 'Topic X, one question, next' thing) so I did that and told her that I used to have a brilliant scar healing cream. Was in town yesterday evening and thought I'd just get some as my mate could use some too. Told her she can have half the tub. No answer, which is pretty frequent by her, no idea why though as it doesn't really reflect how we get along when we actually meet up.


I know I'm not very good a the girls thing, but I did think that I was decent at the general "being friends with humans" thing.

Not sure if I shall put this in here or the angry thread, I don't view her as gf material (not that I think I would mind) but more as "I'd rather keep you as a friend because friends usually last longer". But I have been wondering if she shuts down because she thinks I might be out for the former. Don't know what her past regarding that stuff is to be honest.

I just happen to have a over analysing brain and have a bit of a "look out for your friends" thing, as I know that I need my friends and thus want them to be well too. Dunno if that's suddenly weird or anything? :huh:

Edited by Topsy

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100% overthinking.

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She's probably creeped out that you bought her some cream to sort out her Rocky Dennis mess. I would be.

That's all I could really understand from your post, did you type it in Spanish then Google translate or something??

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I don't know how I feel about the above. 

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I do:

/r/niceguys

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Posted (edited)

13 hours ago, Tom Booth said:

She's probably creeped out that you bought her some cream to sort out her Rocky Dennis mess. I would be.

That's all I could really understand from your post, did you type it in Spanish then Google translate or something??

yeah, well maybe. But on the other hand I've always been weird like that, not just recently.

Starting to write stuff and keeping it short, then noticing that it won't make sense and shoving in some details simply doesn't work, especially at 4am or whenever I wrote it (was surprised it got saved as draft!).
Wish I had typed it in spanish though, it'd mean I could speak more languages. :D

13 hours ago, Luke Rainbird said:

100% overthinking.

Sometimes brilliant, sometimes not so much. Always a pain in the arse.

Edited by Topsy

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Posted (edited)

_

Edited by Topsy

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My two cents:  My mum bought me scar healing cream and I remember being insulted at the time because I hadn't thought the scar was anything to horrible that needed reducing. 

 

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On 1/6/2018 at 2:45 AM, Topsy said:

 I don't view her as gf material but more as "I'd rather keep you as a friend because friends usually last longer". But I have been wondering if she shuts down because she thinks I might be out for the former. Don't know what her past regarding that stuff is to be honest.

I just happen to have a over analysing brain and have a bit of a "look out for your friends" thing, as I know that I need my friends and thus want them to be well too. 

If the person in question was a male, and not someone you were remotely interested in getting intimate with, would you be getting as upset and analysing how well you get along with each other when you're together, how much or little you talk, the content and quality of the conversation and how he's no good at replying to texts?

You're fooling nobody saying you only want to be friends :P

Also yeah, buying products as a gift to alter her physical appearance (whatever the intention) is probably not going to win you many points, next time go with an expensive, extravagant bunch of flowers with a "to a friend" card.

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On 1/5/2018 at 1:45 PM, Topsy said:

brilliant scar healing cream

Spill the  beans... my 3 year old has a belter on his forehead!

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Bio oil is the shit. My face would look even worse without that stuff. 

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11 hours ago, Jolfa said:

If the person in question was a male, and not someone you were remotely interested in getting intimate with, would you be getting as upset and analysing how well you get along with each other when you're together, how much or little you talk, the content and quality of the conversation and how he's no good at replying to texts?

I was thinking the same. Also you say "not that I think I would mind" in reference to her being more than a friend. So you'd be best working out, truthfully for yourself, what you want this girl for. If it really is just as friends, then don't worry about it if she seems distant or doesn't reply - she'll soon find your number if she wants more time/support/help or whatever, then you can be that good friend.

If, on the other hand, you do actually want to be more than that, then you might like to not be so keen when it comes to friendly gestures. We've all been there I'm sure, playing the role of the attentive good male friend, but unfortunately as ten tons of internet memes will happily report (as if we need them) it rarely if ever leads to things being more than that. If you do want her to eventually be your girlfriend then try practicing some outcome independence. Stop thinking "I wouldn't mind" and start thinking "How can I make this happen?" Next time you really really want to message her, just don't. Before you know it you mind find the tables turn and it's her wondering why you don't reply.

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23 hours ago, Jolfa said:

If the person in question was a male, and not someone you were remotely interested in getting intimate with, would you be getting as upset and analysing how well you get along with each other when you're together, how much or little you talk, the content and quality of the conversation and how he's no good at replying to texts?

You're fooling nobody saying you only want to be friends :P

Also yeah, buying products as a gift to alter her physical appearance (whatever the intention) is probably not going to win you many points, next time go with an expensive, extravagant bunch of flowers with a "to a friend" card.

I  would, yes.. :unsure:

True, who ever only wants to be friends? However, I don't mind being 'only' friends since I'm utter shit at everything else and thus don't set any other targets.

I get what you mean with that. :P

15 hours ago, monkeyseemonkeydo said:

Spill the  beans... my 3 year old has a belter on his forehead!

http://shop.cosmerba.com/en/energetic-cream-50ml/1641-energetic-cream-50ml-50ml-energetic-cream-standard.html

Dunno if you can get it in the UK.. Here in town it's quite a bit cheaper than on the site as they buy big tubs and fill their own small ones apparently.
Worked very well for me, my mum and my grandmother the doctors thought. :)

11 hours ago, Tony Harrison said:

I was thinking the same. Also you say "not that I think I would mind" in reference to her being more than a friend. So you'd be best working out, truthfully for yourself, what you want this girl for. If it really is just as friends, then don't worry about it if she seems distant or doesn't reply - she'll soon find your number if she wants more time/support/help or whatever, then you can be that good friend.

If, on the other hand, you do actually want to be more than that, then you might like to not be so keen when it comes to friendly gestures. We've all been there I'm sure, playing the role of the attentive good male friend, but unfortunately as ten tons of internet memes will happily report (as if we need them) it rarely if ever leads to things being more than that. If you do want her to eventually be your girlfriend then try practicing some outcome independence. Stop thinking "I wouldn't mind" and start thinking "How can I make this happen?" Next time you really really want to message her, just don't. Before you know it you mind find the tables turn and it's her wondering why you don't reply.

I say I don't mind because I would not have any objections should she want to change something. But it would have to be her making a move, or at least hinting at it being fine with her. (there's an issue with this: I can't explain just how immune I am to girls hitting on me. It's developed into a running gag.)
So I'm genuinely content with being friends. 

Yes, outcome independence.. I have learnt it with lots of things, but not yet with humans. :P

Really sound advice though!

 

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On 05/01/2018 at 2:34 PM, Luke Rainbird said:

100% overthinking.

Still.

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10 hours ago, Topsy said:

True, who ever only wants to be friends?


So I'm genuinely content with being friends. 

Found the flawed thinking - looks like you're problem is that you clearly want to be more and are in a little bit of denial. I'd recommend taking the risk and saying something, you'll be doomed to over thinking otherwise and especially if you're looking for hints from her.

 

 

 

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Stop thinking and start doing. Simples. It'll either work or it won't 

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It's also amazing going on this thread t0 my first girlfriend in 2010 hahaha. Some of the shit that went down was hilarious. Firdt date to the cinema f**k yeah bahahahha

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On 08/01/2018 at 9:53 AM, Luke Rainbird said:

Still.

 

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:lol:

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Meets 'really nice girl' to of what i thought/think 

After first date she posts a pic up of me onto IG with caption #thisguy #poop

Really nice girl is jealous as f**k about my having a best friend who is female

Really nice girl ends it - and tells me that she cant wait for our next date

Really nice girl says that she feels like a mug because i didnt say that my best mate was female from the off(i have Muslim, trans and Jewish friends, probably should mention that too)

Really nice girl is showing bipolar tendencies

Really nice girl is fine one moment and then is about to end it the next leaving my on the highest of highs and then feeling like shit.

Fed up of really nice girl - its has been TWO f**kING WEEKS

 

Think really nice girl is mentally broken, how do i always end up with these girls. 

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I mean, I'm looking for the common denominator here and I hate to say it but...

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Maybe you need to start looking for something different, your current type appears to not really be your type :)

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Endless drama at this early stage - just move on, seriously it's not worth it. And f'ck being an emotional punchbag for a bipolar girl.

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I've had a plan, normally i would just use the 'ive been busy with work' shit a shot to distance myself, thus letting it end smoothly. In this situation, i cant, i see her most days.

So the plan, f**k clipper, im self employed but greedy, im going to work elsewhere for a month, a local vehicle movement firm on average is 15 hour days. There is my excuse, without loosing too much money. 

I really hope that this works... 

I could alternatively just shoot myself in the head next, my feet have already been blown off with my unsuccessful relationship life.

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