MadManMike Posted March 19, 2015 Report Share Posted March 19, 2015 Another vote for 100% normal. When you're single, you crave it. When you're in a relationship you crave Tinder bumall adventures. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pashley26 Posted March 19, 2015 Report Share Posted March 19, 2015 I bet Tinder in Poland is literally the dirtiest poop covered f**k fest in the world. I've only shagged one Eastern European girl, she was Romanian. She f**ked like an absolute trooper. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted March 19, 2015 Report Share Posted March 19, 2015 Also normal, similar position here - wouldn't say i'm less attracted to her or anything, the whole relationship's just a bit calmer. It's nice to be so relaxed speninding time with your best pal though, if you're happy just run with it mate! Just make sure neither of you forgets about doing the couple-y stuff too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greetings Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 Good news then By the way, the following: Tinder bumall adventures. when googled, points straight back to Trials Forum, specifically to a thread that's puzzled me for days. Infinite loop. Just make sure neither of you forgets about doing the couple-y stuff too. She's horny all the time but I've lost interest. This is the main problem. Definitely need to give this a lot of thought, I'm drifting away from her but at the same time feel the security of being in a serious relationship which could last a very long time. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Harrison Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 She's horny all the time but I've lost interest. This is the main problem. Mine too. As a young buck I never thought one day I'd be in a position (lol!) where I have a hot girl wanting it all the time, but quite often I'm not as keen. It's not that I've lost interest in her as such, I just think it's unusual for me to have been with the same girl so long (6 months now). For most of the last few years I've been either single or playing around and it keeps things interesting, there's a challenge, a game to play. As Mike says though often you want what you don't have. Mid last year when I was getting together with a few different girls (two of which were bad news) I ended up getting jack of it and just thinking f'ck, why can't I meet a cute, fun, awesome girl and make it work. And then I did. So yeah, grass being greener and that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JT! Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 Quick question - anyone have experience with the missus becoming your best friend and the normal attraction fading away? So this is fairly normal? Jumping ship would mean the same thing happening again in a few years. I've only been in one long relationship in the past so haven't crossed this bridge yet. 1000 f**ks rule. When you've had sex 1000 times your man body tells your brain she's unable to have children and you lose all interest. This is why society should accept sex outside of a relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greetings Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 This keeps things interesting, there's a challenge, a game to play. and this: So yeah, grass being greener and that. This is why society should accept sex outside of a relationship. Ditto. The way things are now, people start cheating on their spouse which leads to the collapse of a long relationship even though sex has become a fairly insignificant part of that relationship. It just doesn't make sense. This is bound to change as society evolves (probably not in our lifetimes), imagine how these matters have changed in the last 100 years. I guess this is what swinging is about? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JT! Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 Meh, wife swapping seems to organized. What I've always told my wife is if I ever got that overwhelming desire to sleep with other women, I would simply come to you and tell you. Then we could decide if an open marriage is the best option, or to end our relationship. It sounds pretty brutal, but it leaves no room for cheating, and aids in a trusting relationship. Personally I think I could easily sleep with other women and no have it effect my marriage at all. Problem is I couldn't bare the thought of my wife doing it. So in that hypocritical stance my sex life is just going to have to stay familiar. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 She's horny all the time but I've lost interest. Wanna swap? I think we're the reverse of you guys haha It's an interesting point though (all of the above, that is) - separating the emotional and physical side does seem to actually make quite a lot of sense - keep everyone happy but then go back to the real relationship and friendship you enjoy/ want to be in for longer than just one night. I'm the same as JT though, it's a cake and eat it situation - like any bloke i'd be more than happy for some nsa stuff with someone else, safe in the knowledge it wouldn't really affect me emotionally, but i'm really not sure I could be comfortable with her getting railed by some other dude. Hypocrisy 101. Communication is key, see how she's feeling about it too. All just depends on the end goal, if you want a future with her then find something that works. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greetings Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 What I've always told my wife is if I ever got that overwhelming desire to sleep with other women, I would simply come to you and tell you. Then we could decide if an open marriage is the best option, or to end our relationship. It sounds pretty brutal, but it leaves no room for cheating, and aids in a trusting relationship. Doesn't sound brutal at all, I had an identical conversation with the missus no more than a year ago. She knows that if I want to cheat on her, we'll have a discussion before it happens, not after. The only difference being that on the contrary to you two, I wouldn't mind someone else banging my missus provided I could do the same and had absolute certainty that there is no emotional bond between us and our partners. Skoze, if you're anything like me, perhaps her being reluctant turns you on? The whole game thing and whatnot. How long have you two been together? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross McArthur Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 Skoze, if you're anything like me, perhaps her being reluctant turns you on? What, a little bit like rape? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 The only difference being that on the contrary to you two, I wouldn't mind someone else banging my missus provided I could do the same and had absolute certainty that there is no emotional bond between us and our partners. Then fair play to you I reckon! If it's a mutual thing then I couldn't really see a problem with it. All just comes back to talking about it and keeping everything in the open. I've never got this far along in a relationship before, but it definitely seems to be one of those points where you either start to get itchy feet and jump ship or work out exactly what you're both down for and end up with something really solid. And yeah, I totally get what you mean - more the working for it a little than it being on tap 24/7 (or going all-out rapist a la Ross). Think we're finding a pretty happy medium now to be fair. Been together 3 years Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 (edited) This thread got weird quickly. The whole having sex with other girls whilst being in a relationship is weird in my eyes. I think I just get too attached when in a relationship so that I don't want anyone else. Edited March 20, 2015 by dann2707 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 more the working for it a little than it being on tap 24/7 Sounds to me like it isn't, though? Same thing here, because that's just what happens with relationships over time. The insatiable temptress gets replaced with the comfortable, comforting, normality – and there's nothing wrong with that Personally, I'm far too jealous and lacking in self esteem to entertain some of the stuff you guys are bringing up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamR28 Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 This thread got weird quickly. You say that, but it's just like The Tinder Thread but for people who actually care about each other and have had a connection for years If it was exciting when you first started seeing each other, try something new that makes it exciting again. Even if it's weird or you don't enjoy it, the trust and understanding you have built up will allow you to laugh it off and it will bring you closer. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greetings Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 I can totally see why this sounds weird but I'm just thinking out loud. Still very happy with where I'm at and wouldn't chose single life over having an understanding and open partner even if the things mentioned in here would never happen. It all boils down to planning and looking for solutions to problems that may arise in the future. This is just one potential problem and one potential solution, undoubtedly out of many others that haven't sprung to mind yet. Surely that's better than cheating behind someone's back or making other poor decisions due to lack of proper communication or consent. This thread got weird quickly. The whole having sex with other girls whilst being in a relationship is weird in my eyes. I think I just get too attached when in a relationship so that I don't want anyone else. Perhaps you haven't experienced this stage of indifference yet? If it'll never happen then all the better, that could mean a really happy life! And yeah, I totally get what you mean - more the working for it a little than it being on tap 24/7 (or going all-out rapist a la Ross). Think we're finding a pretty happy medium now to be fair. Been together 3 years That's exactly what I meant 3 years tomorrow, hence the thoughts. Good time to look back and analyze what has changed, what's missing and what could be improved. And the latter is definitely what Adam is talking about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamR28 Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 Surely that's better than cheating behind someone's back or making other poor decisions due to lack of proper communication or consent. Damn right. As Alex said Dan, it takes a while for this 'stage of indifference' to come about. I can't remember when it started happening for us, but nearly 11 and a half years down the line it takes some work Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 I'm in the camp of "I could do it and not feel attached, but I don't want my girlfriend getting pounded", so I don't think I'll be suggesting that to her any time soon. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Harrison Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 Me too Mike, 100%! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 This thread got weird quickly. The whole having sex with other girls whilst being in a relationship is weird in my eyes. I think I just get too attached when in a relationship so that I don't want anyone else. This is purely out of curiosity Dan, but what's your longest relationship to date? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muel Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 I'd be up for an open relationship but only if it was equal and now feels with other parties, but my lady won't hear of it. Not even the tip! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 This is purely out of curiosity Dan, but what's your longest relationship to date? Two years with grace. Why? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bing Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 Grace messes with your head Dan. She was nothing but manipulative with you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted March 20, 2015 Report Share Posted March 20, 2015 I know mate but I think Matt was slightly insinuating that I wouldn't be able to understand what he was feeling because I hadn't had a long term relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted March 21, 2015 Report Share Posted March 21, 2015 No not at all mate, was just wondering as you seem to have a pretty idealistic view of things - fair play to you! I've just found it's the bit between 2 and 3 years that makes quite a difference in the dynamic of it all. I'm still just as attracted to my girlfriend as I was when we first got together, but things have definitely slowed down a touch so I can definitely relate to the others in here. With the total comfortability factor time gives though, some rather interesting this have come out of the woodwork with it - like, she wants to get some other girls involved at some point which is a rather nice prospect, but obviously ground rules will need to be laid out beforehand... Again, going back to the earlier point it's alllllllll about that talking. Watch this space I guess. I just find it really interesting to get so many different takes on things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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