CC12345678910 Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 The next thing I know I wake up and everything is sideways i'm thinking what on earth is this??? Things start to come into focus and I can see my bath sideways then I realise i'm on the f**king floor! I look down my body and my kegs are around my ankles, my phone is in hand and my head is killing at the front I must have hit the porcelain sink on the way down!! What the actual f**k!!! You must think you're Elvis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Rainbird Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 FFS, my exhaust saga continues... Bought a 3" Cobra downpipe and sports cat for the Leon on eBay, seller obviously sells lots of random cars bits and I received an Astra exhaust instead. He'd sent this to me and mine to the buyer of the Astra part - no biggy, accidents happen. 3 weeks later and he still can't pull his finger out and sort out either a courier to collect this, a courier to send the correct part, funds to me to send this back to him or a refund. f**king mong. Still, soon as I get his address he'll be receiving a nice box of the sloppiest curry poo I can produce. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forteh Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 (edited) What do you expect spending three quid on a down pipe Edited April 7, 2015 by forteh 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Rainbird Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 What you did there. I see it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartMini Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 Still, soon as I get his address he'll be receiving a nice box of the sloppiest curry poo I can produce. Just make sure you don't pass out in the process 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Yoshi Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 I'm sure there was a scrubs episode based on jd passing out when ever he took a shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isitafox Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 I wonder if Mr Dilworth can elaborate including why he gave up acting?? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewEH1 Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 I'm sure there was a scrubs episode based on jd passing out when ever he took a shit. There is, I was thinking the exact same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 Can't believe I f**king passed out how embarrassing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 I wonder if Mr Dilworth can elaborate including why he gave up acting?? Mainly the passing out while shitting, to be honest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bikeperson45 Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 Can't believe I f**king passed out how embarrassing Here's your diagnosis in comedy form Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartMini Posted April 7, 2015 Report Share Posted April 7, 2015 I've just passed out for the first time and in the weirdest of circumstances. I made burritos last night and ate way too many of them! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SamKidney Posted April 8, 2015 Report Share Posted April 8, 2015 Back at work after a long weekend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isitafox Posted April 8, 2015 Report Share Posted April 8, 2015 Had my wage slip through for this Friday and yet again Payroll have cocked up my wages for this month. If I'm lucky I might be able to still get it added on for this Friday when we get paid, otherwise I'll be nearly £1000 down till the end of next week Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ogre Posted April 9, 2015 Report Share Posted April 9, 2015 i've hurt my shoulder was fine this morning, i only went out on my roady for 15 minutes and now it hurts like f**k Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted April 9, 2015 Report Share Posted April 9, 2015 Today is chaos at work. I need a beer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pashley26 Posted April 9, 2015 Report Share Posted April 9, 2015 (edited) Why does the donkey sanctuary advert make me so sad? It's not the donkey's fault, I just want to give them a cuddle and make it all better. Edited April 9, 2015 by Pashley26 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdoku Posted April 9, 2015 Report Share Posted April 9, 2015 Why does the donkey sanctuary advert make me so sad? It's not the donkey's fault, I just want to give them a cuddle and make it all better. New topic: Jardo's Donkey Bumall Adventure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted April 10, 2015 Report Share Posted April 10, 2015 Getting a bit sick of the fast and furious quotes and shit that's constantly on facebook/the general internet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeyseemonkeydo Posted April 10, 2015 Report Share Posted April 10, 2015 I can't believe there've been 7. I lost interest half way through 2 and haven't seen any of the others. The whole thing is supposed to revolve around cars but car scenes (that I've seen) always seem to be laughable and just plain annoying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiamWood! Posted April 10, 2015 Report Share Posted April 10, 2015 Seem to have contracted the same viral infection as the missus, deep joy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Rainbird Posted April 10, 2015 Report Share Posted April 10, 2015 Antibiotics can clear most of that up though. Just wrap it up next time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiamWood! Posted April 10, 2015 Report Share Posted April 10, 2015 Antibiotics can clear most of that up though. Just wrap it up next time. Not that kind of infection. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Rainbird Posted April 10, 2015 Report Share Posted April 10, 2015 Oh ok. Thanks for the clarification. Could you provide more details, perhaps some pictures? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pashley26 Posted April 10, 2015 Report Share Posted April 10, 2015 (edited) Stupid people f**king piss me off. M and S just down the road, I go in there and get dinner and a bottle of Peroni. The woman is asking me for payment, I've put my card in the machine and the assistant manager runs over and she starts giving me a hard time about ID. Conversation goes down like this. ''Can we see some ID please?'' ''I'd love to, but my license is with DVLA for an address change so I don't have any on me.'' ''Well you can't have this alcohol then.'' ''How old do you think I am, really?'' ''Umm, I think you're 24.'' ''Ok, and what's the age you have to be to buy alcohol.'' ''That's not the point, company policy is challenge 25.'' ''It's company policy for you to not sell alcohol to somebody you think is 6 years above the legal age to purchase alcohol?'' ''No, it is company policy for us to ask anybody we think is under 25 for ID when buying age restricted products.'' ''Ok, well you've asked. I've said I can't provide you with any. But none the less, you think I'm 24 which I just so happen to be so that was a good guess. Now can I go home and cook my dinner and drink a beer with it. Or are you going to continue to make me a dissatisfied customer and argue with me about how you think I'm 6 years older than 18, but you still won't serve me a singular bottle of Peroni?'' There's a huge long line of people behind me by this point, so I thought I might as well go the whole hog. And I asked to speak to the manager. Manager comes down, I explain to him the idiocy of his staff. All he seems to be able to say is that it's my fault for not coming out with ID. We didn't see eye to eye on that one, because he himself agreed I looked much older than 18. He seemed to suggest that I pay for an independent ID for the one time since I was 16 that I haven't had my driving license on me because I'm getting the address changed. I said ''Is that because when I'm 34 and my photo card is due for renewal I'll still be being ID'd by your dimwitted staff?'' At that point my phone rings, oddly it was my mother. I answered it because I had about as much respect for the manager of M and S as I do for chewing gum on the pavement. ''Hi mum, can't talk. Just in marks and spencer arguing with the manager about how he thinks I am 24, but still won't serve me alcohol.'' ''Which one? Is it Martin?'' I turn to him and say ''Is your name Martin?'' ''How did you know that! Who are you on the phone to?'' So I cut the conversation off with my mother, turned to 'Martin' and said ''Well, you'll be hearing from head office soon. I think that's potentially the most dismal mystery shop I've ever had to attend.'' Walked out, left all of my shopping on the side, went straight into Sainsburys where I bought the Peroni for 40p cheaper, didn't get ID'd and paid less for the spaghetti and meatballs. c**ts. Edited April 10, 2015 by Pashley26 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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